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Kinda Scared

Well my ex and I are no longer together. We have decided to go our seperate ways and I am currently expecting a baby in october. I am scared that he will try and take this baby away. He has no reason to though because I am not an unfit mother, I am working full time, I have my own appartment, and etc. Well I wasnt going to cooperate with child support because I dont want him trying to take the baby away from me even though we have decided to go our seperate ways and he wouldn't be apart of the babys life. The thing is I really need insurence on myself and I need it for my child so I have to cooperate with them in order to receive insurence. Has anyone been through this before. What are my chances of him getting custody if at all?? He wont be there to sign the birth certificate or etc and he hasnt been apart of this pregnancy...I'm from wisconsin so any info would help

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • You have a legal right to your child, as long as your not unfit, the same as your ex. You can cooperate with child support and insurance this should have no effect on custody. Don't let him scare you, this is your child and you get to raise it, but you have to share custody with the other parent.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 2:46 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • You can tell them you don't know who the father is. It will actually just not say father on the birth certificate. He would have to spend money to take you to court for a paternity test (if you are that scared he will get custody). If he is not an unfit father, there is no reason he can't have joint custody according to the law.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 2:47 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • i am from wisconsin and no legal expert
    but in order to get help from state you do have to provide fathers info
    you could lie and say you do not know father, but they will want all names of possible fathers so they can go after father to support child, so this lie will do you no favors

    why are you scared he will try to take the bay, if he is not involved to this point???
    of course he would not be the first father tht wants nothing to do with a child until he has to pay out $ and then it all changes, like he has to get somethingback for the money going out, not saying yours will be like that, but i have seen some like this
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:47 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I think that child support and custody are two different things. You both will have rights to the baby but you should have the upper hand because he already doesn't have an active role. I would look into it though for your state and their laws.
    homemaker4him

    Answer by homemaker4him at 2:51 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Very true..He got custody of his first daughter becuase the mother was unfit and blah blah blah.....I shouldnt be worried because I am nothing like that and etc. the only charge that I have is not wearing a seatbelt and I paid that fine. and its really not me asking for the child support its the state asking for it because I'm getting public assistance. I mean I dont want to be on it forever I am working and etc so its not like im not doing for anything for in return...Him and I were both unmarried so I actually have sole legal custody and blah blah blah....Oh the life of a single parent I wish it was just as easy with my first son and his father. We dont have custody issues I allow him to see his son whenever he wants and etc. I never had a problem trying to get child support from him because he signed the birth certificate and etc....My life stinks?:(
    aidens_mom_0854

    Answer by aidens_mom_0854 at 2:56 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Just because you weren't married doesn't mean you have "sole legal custody". Once the child is born, you need to go to the courts and have custody/visitation determined, whether or not he's trying to see the child just so it's settled. Child support/custody are two separate things and have nothing to do with one another.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:42 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • In Wisconsin it states on the paternity of acknowlege thing the thing you sign in the hospital for the father wants custody arrangements he must take the mother to court. The mother is the sole legal parent unless the father takes you to court or etc if he wants different custody arrangments..This is when paretns are unmarried and etc...
    aidens_mom_0854

    Answer by aidens_mom_0854 at 5:08 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • If you are not married, you do not have to list him on the birth cert - however, going for Medicaid (PA insurance) you have to give his info for c/s. This is seperate from visitation - if he WANTS visitation, he must order a pat test to prove paternity and then take you to court for visitation rights. Being the mom, there is a 0% chance they will take the baby from you and just give him/her to the father - the father has to prove beyond reasonable doubt that it would be life-threatening to the child to stay with you. IE: Abandonment, drug use, alcoholism. If you work, stay clean, and be the best mom you can be, he won't be getting anything more than "every other weekend".
    MunchiesMom324

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 6:51 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

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