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Parents with boys that are 3 years apart.....

My boys just turned 1 and 4 and im just curious when and how do i get them to play nice together. Obviousley my 4 year old is not use to having a brother that actually plays but all he ever does when the lil brother wants to play is constantly yells at him. The 4 year old never wants lil bro to touch his stuff and of course the lil bro just wants to play with his big brother. Its kinda heart breaking! I was thinking of haveing the 3 year gap again but now im thinking maybe thats not a good idea???

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mommyofone15

Asked by mommyofone15 at 2:51 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 11 (576 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • My boys are exactly 3 years + 1 week apart. I promise it will get easier as they grow. Mine are 5 and 8 now and pretty much best friends. There's not a whole lot you can do to make it work, but they will figure it out. Just give it time.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 2:54 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • The age difference is not the problem. There was 7 years difference between my boys with a girl in between, and they still had arguments just like your children are having. You have to teach them to share and get along, no matter the age difference. Children are by nature selfish and do not like to share, so moms have to figure out a way to make it worth their while to get along. I used a fly swatter.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:54 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Thanks! I think im alittle hard on the 4 yr old because well hes older and the 1 yr old just doesnt quite know yet. I do get after the 1 yr old sometimes but i know im alot harder on the 4 yr old. Is that normal or am i being too harsh? I do tell the 4 yr old if he wants to play by himself hes suppose to go play in his bedroom so that should be fair not?
    mommyofone15

    Comment by mommyofone15 (original poster) at 2:57 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • My oldest boy is 9 and my twin boys are 4 and I have a 5 year old daughter. They all fight and bicker non-stop. Sometimes one or two will share but there is always one who doesn't want to. Everything was easier when they all had their own thing but now everybody is in to Thomas the Tank so there is nonstop fights over my 9 year olds trains (he has a ton of them). I am to the point where I am ready to throw EVERY train in the house out. Mainly I just tell them all to share. It is funny to hear them scream SHARE!!! MOMMY SAID SHARE!!!!
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 3:08 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I think it's only natural to expect more from the older one. I sometimes feel like I'm a big meanie to my 8 year old, as often as I've told him he's old enough to know better.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 3:18 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • My boys are 2 1/2 years apart. The younger one plays much better with his sister who is only 18 months apart from him than he does with his brother, always has. My sister, brother and I were all 2 1/2 years apart - developmentally as a child that's a pretty large gap. It will close some as they get older, but they may never be great friends.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • My older boy are 4 years apart and there were times when the oldest wanted nothing to do with his younger brother! But more often than not, they are bros and like to play together. They are 5 and 9 now. My 9 year old likes to tease his little brother but when it comes down to it, he really loves and cares about his brother and they like to hang out together and play video games.
    nmmama09

    Answer by nmmama09 at 5:47 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

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