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2 Bumps

My best friend is about to go through IVF. I am concerned because she is almost 35, diabetic and obese! I have tried to talk to her about losing weight and eating better, and she just seems to be ignoring me. What else can I do?!

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Asked by momoftwo246 at 3:08 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in Diet & Fitness

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Nothing. She is going to do what she wants regardless. She should try to get a bit more healthy before conceiving, but some people just don't think.

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 3:09 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Her doctor will tell her all that. Nothing you can do.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 3:10 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I hate to have to say this because I know how important health and fitness are, but it is her body. She is only going to do what she needs to do if she WANTS to do them. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Just be as supportive as you can.

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 3:10 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • There isn't much you can do. Although, I can say this, from experience with friends. IVF isn't guaranteed to work, especially the first time. I think the chances of it not working the first time are fairly high, has her doctor informed her of that before she spends all the money?

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 3:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • If she is going to do this you have to imagine she is not going to take it lightly and if she is any doctor worth their salt is going to sit her down and tell her. The truth is all you can do is be there when the doctor tells her the truth. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • MYOB. Reproductive Specialists who do IVF do not want any near death medical issues in their practice. They are monitored. They actually are better Doctors than you would find at a Regular Practice. They are knowledgeable in many health areas not just a specific one. They handle Thyroid, High Blood Pressure, and some problems you cannot imagine. They are state of the art trained and have the BEST equipment. Their results of live births are constantly scrutinized as well as the health issues of the Mothers. This cost is very high for IVF even with Medical Insurance and you get the care & service that reflects this. I know from experience. I have a healthy, Happy baby to prove it. It is her decision and she will be cared for better than her current doctors, I can tell you that.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:38 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I went through the process myself and i had to loose 30 pounds before I started the process. Sometimes it looks like your friend is taking it easy and doesnt care about her health. The stress of not having a baby and going through the process makes it very hard to even think what is right for her. Right now all she need is a good friend and loving family. Doctors in this area are so particular about weight , and they give all the diet guidelines and exercise routines before they start the process.

    Answer by Vmom79 at 5:31 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Make her tune in to Dr. Oz. He is pretty convincing when it comes to an intervention to eat healthier.

    Answer by Rosxjun at 11:22 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I also struggled with fertility issues. My MD told me I needed to lose weight. It's not that I didn't want to, but I was a RN working nights with a crazy schedule and traveling to the md 150 miles away every other day. I WAS STRESSED!!! I knew I needed to lose wt, but all I could think about was how much I wanted this baby. btw, those hormones were a doozie!!! I didn't have the diabetic issues (which are serious) , but I can understand and sympathize with your friend.
    bottom line:
    You can't make her do anything, but look on the "bright" side--she'll be an excellent mom, she's already putting her family in front of herself!!!! ;)

    Answer by chucks_mama at 1:50 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • She needs you to be her friend. You spoke of your concerns, now leave it alone. Infertility is a hard road to travel. Many women whe stressed eat, not everyone stops and looses weight with stress. If she is not gaining is maintaining her blood sugars that is a huge accomplishment. Be supportive of her, there are many ups and downs with IVF and the other treatments. Every month not pregnant you grieve, just like a death, no baby coming this month. IVF doesn't always work and when it does, you live in fear that something will happen in the pregnacy, not until you are holding the baby in your arms do you relax and then all of the new mom and parent worries set in.
    Be her friend, listen to her worries, excitement. Don't be a downer or on her about her weight, she is aware of it. She is monitored by her Dr. Be her cheerleader and encourager when she needs it. Be the person that made the two of you friends to begin with

    Answer by momof4treasures at 8:42 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

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