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2 Bumps

A situation with an alcoholic and a child...

I am in a situation where my friends mom is an alcoholic, they have had to do an intervention and call her doctor to have a family council about getting her help. She has a 9 year old sister that she fears is going to end up in DSS custody because of it, and I told her to talk to the childs father, and she said that he might not want to help in the situation for his own selfish reasons. At this point, I told her that she needs to deal with what comes up that day, and stop stressing about the what ifs. I can't get involved, I refuse to. However, I am her best friend and I am who she turns to, but I can't let it stress me out too. Her mother is toxic...and needs help. She can't worry about DSS if her moms going to do worse to that child than 6 months of being in a safe environment. What would you do if you were in this situation?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • Do what you are doing and just be her friend - maybe help her look in to things as a way of getting to care for her sister etc - but like you said, this cannot make your life or situation become toxic or drama filled either -do as much as you can as a Best friend - that's all friends can ask GL

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:46 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • My best friend is currently caring for her brother's 2 kids while all 3 parents are in jail (two different moms + the dad - each in jail for different reasons). It was a seamless transition. Basically she took the kids immidiately and DCF called it "placement" with her. Its not custody, its not parental rights - its the offical name for a family member temporarily caring for the child while the parents take care of a short/moderate term situation. It will be a year this fall she has had them. She has to take the girl to visitation with her mom and to counseling to help her cope with it all. But DCF is not going to put kids into foster care when there are capable relatives to care for the child.

    Answer by karamille at 3:48 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • CPS/DHS/DCF usually prefers that a family member take care of the kids. Could your friend take the kid in?

    Answer by terpmama at 4:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I agree with the other responses. See if someone in the family can take in this child, or if she can take her sister. She has every right to be concerned where her sister will end up. While you do have some wonderful foster homes, you also can have some not so wonderful homes. I hope someone in the family can step in and help.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 8:03 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

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