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2 Bumps

Searching for atention and affection from another man rather than your Hubby?

Hi, if you thought your Hubby isn't giving you atention, not showing any intrest in any way in a relationship would you search for all that good stuff in another man? No romance,no small talk much less long talk, no holding hands, no nothing , no relationship!!!!
It's me seeking the afetion and atention of my Husmand, I can't wait for him to come home to tell him about my day, about the kids, about anything to keep that conection, I turn over to him to make him happy on bed, I do dress sexy once in a while, I flirt w/him, I do try to keep the flame going but I have gottn tired of me begging for atention in every way. I don't want to cheat, I don't evn have time to anyway, but how do other ladys feel about this if you had this happen to you???
What would you do???

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • It's the number one reason people cheat, they are not getting their emotional needs met. I've always known it but they did a study a few years ago and wrote a book Why Men Cheat but it goes for women as well.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:18 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I know exactly how you feel! If you feel invested enough that you don't want to cheat, make sure it doesn't happen! It's ok to have male friends that you talk to, hang out with, etc. but make sure you don't put yourself in a position that could cause trouble. Maybe it's not so much affection that you are lacking as an emotional bond. Confide in a girlfriend or even a male friend, and maybe that connection and friendship can help make you feel like you are getting attention. As for your husband, mention it to him and see if he even realizes he's not giving you the attention you deserve.
    countrygirl1987

    Answer by countrygirl1987 at 4:11 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I also think you should take to your DH about it. Friendships w/ the opposit sex can be dangerous, especially if you are not feeling fulfilled @ home.
    Nynne

    Answer by Nynne at 4:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • The Opposite Sex is Dangerous! You obviously love your husband very much and he is the one you need to be talking to. Take him out to dinner one night without the kids and let him know exactly how you feel. Maybe you guys would benefit from couples therapy, if your into that sort of thing....Keeping it to yourself isnt helping anything. If he doesnt know how can he help :)
    BreedingBoys

    Answer by BreedingBoys at 4:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Do not, I repeat, do not seek attention from another man. It is the definite road to ruin. You two need to arrange a monthly (if not more often) night out alone.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 5:05 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • well, I can honestly say that I've never cheated on any man, but I do understand what you are saying. I went through this same thing with my husband. there was a time period like this and he was in a position that he wasn't thrilled with at work. my husband had a promotion and position change to where he was happier, so that helped a lot.

    but I also have a lot of male friends so that helps me at times when I could use some extra attention- but not sexual at all. I don't think that our SO or hubby can be everything to us and fullfill all of our needs, we can have platonic relationships with others. at the same time my hubby can get very jealous- when he found out that I took a visiting guy friend to a place he was tired of my asking to go, he got a different perspective.

    maybe if you had a chat with your so, telling him that you will start to make other friendships, he may see the problem.
    no easy fix, but that was me.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:21 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • oh, and BTW- we have rules, like neither me or the hubby is to be in places like friends apartments or the like alone. Places where it would be too easy to have things 'just happen' that wasn't planned.
    if you keep it in public, then it's much easier to deal with it all if temptation does arise.

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:23 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I would ask him to attend some marriage counseling and see how he reacts. My ex was the same way and it ruined our marriage. He just wasn't willing to give, even after counseling.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 4:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I would try to talk to him. My DH seemed like he was very angry with me for a while. He finally told me what was bothering him. It was so stupid. It was something that happened almost 4 years ago! His friend brought it up and that's why he didn't want to come over and hang out. Once I got to the bottom of his problem, I was able to explain certain things, which really helped. Some guys keep things so bottled up that they don't realize how it is affecting the people around them.
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 4:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Please don't go down that path. Just tell him how you feel and if he doesn't respond you seek seek counseling
    MsHouseWife

    Answer by MsHouseWife at 5:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

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