Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

10 Bumps

Would you say something if your friend played favorites among her children?

I have a friend that plays favorites SO much so among her children that even my husband (who can be clueless about those things lol) notices it. It is really disgusting. She has lots of kids, but only a couple of them get to do things that IMO all kids should be able to do. She really only seems to care very deeply about a couple. It really ain't right, but how do you tell someone that they are playing favorites? Surely she knows already! It just makes me sick but it seems like most of her kids just exist and then their are the couple of chosen.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:19 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • I know someone who does this, I just try to give the other child as much love as I can when I am around. I dont know that bringing it up will change anything besides your relationship with your friend. In my case, I would rather be in the kids lives than not b/c I pissed mom off and she didnt want to talk to me anymore.
    kimbob2284

    Answer by kimbob2284 at 6:21 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • It's hard to because you don't wanna interfere, but at the same time you feel really bad for the kid. I had a friend like that who just treated her eldest (who was two at the time) like shit. One time she locked us out of the house, by accident, and her mom freakin beat her senseless on the bottom for it. I'm thinking...this kid is two, she probably didn't even know how to lock a door it just happened to be locked when she shut it on us. I wanted to say something but she flies off the handle if you try to correct her or say anything so I just couldn't.
    GinNTonic

    Answer by GinNTonic at 6:23 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Tell her that you have noticed this and explain to her how your husband as you put it is "clueless" also noticed. Just tell her your being a good friend and you just care about her kids. I would explain how it's not right and it will cause emotional issues for her kids later on in life and that they need her now. Good luck that's a hard situation, but she needs to know that it ain't cool.
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 6:24 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • my sister does it. Her youngest DD is her favorite wheil she treats her son like crap. Makes me sick too.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:25 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Sure I would say something, if she really were my friend....how I would say it depends on what kind of a person she is, and what would be the best way...so I'm not much help to ya' there, sorry :)
    Nynne

    Answer by Nynne at 6:37 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I have a friend who does this and sometimes it really makes me want to cry. My friend is just so mean to her oldest son and is always pawning him off on other family members and she spends the rest spoiling her son that she has with her husband. I have asked her if she thinks she treats them equal and she says of course I do. I just try to make sure I give the oldest a lot of compliments and love. He's 6 so he doesn't really like me hugging him all the time but I just want him to know that he is just as special as his brother. My friend rolls her eyes at me and sighs when I praise her oldest and it's truly disgusting. I think the key is not to criticize their parenting skills but quietly let them know that you notice the difference. If they want to change they will.

    ShaunaYve

    Answer by ShaunaYve at 6:59 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • You really aren't giving details as what you think is her playing favorites. What do you mean exactly? What is she doing differently with the kids? What are the ages of these kids? Maybe some of them can't do the same things as the older kids? I don't know.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 7:11 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • My Brothers were spoiled and when people would say something it made it worse for me so I would just give them all of the love you can and make a big deal like my aunt did and my dads mom did. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:26 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I personally don't think it's any of your business. If it bothers you that much then don't hang out with her.
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 7:33 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Yes I would. I don't know how to keep my mouth shut sometimes,
    Just_Us_Friends

    Answer by Just_Us_Friends at 7:35 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.