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2 Bumps

Mom-in-Law - Advice Please

My MIL undoubtedly loves my daughter. That's not the problem. I guess what I find so weird (different?) is the fact that she's all over my daughter whenever she sees her. CONSTANTLY wanting to interact with her, give her kisses, wanting to do things with her that other people do with her, and gets offended when my daughter (who is 19 mos. old) does not want to come to her/hug her. She shows her co-workers all pics that I post on Facebook of my daughter, often refers to my daughter on her Facebook, and more. She generally seems obsessed with her to me. I find it weird because she's the only one of my family members that is that way with her. My daughter's other relatives love her as well, but they don't show such an overabundance of affection. They are affectionate, but my MIL takes it to an all-time different level. How can I feel more comfortable with such displays of affection? It just seems excessive to me.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (13)
  • Is your daughter the first/only grandchild?
    beckie66

    Answer by beckie66 at 8:19 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Everyone is different, you have to accept your MIL for who she is. Many moms would be happy and thankful for their child to have a grandparent who loved/adored their child. Remember one day, if you're lucky, you too may be a MIL and grandma!
    Rnurse

    Answer by Rnurse at 8:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • it just sounds like she is a proud grandma to me. why is it a problem that she shows pics ( all grandmoms do that lmao) and talks about her on facebook (where i'm assuming she talks about other things too..... unless she set up a page devoted to your daughter. now that would be creepy. otherwise i think it's normal). maybe you're just not as affectionate as she is. that doesn't make her a wierdo
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:21 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Haha that is how my mom is with my son. I don't think its too much IMO. I was also going to ask if she is the first/only grandchild or if your MIL has only boys? My son is the first grandchild on both sides so everyone is a little obsessed with him at the moment. I'm sure that will fade once the next baby is born. As long as her affection doesn't seem inappropriate or like "molesterish" then I wouldn't worry too much about it. Some people just really show their love. Seems to me like that's all she's doing.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 8:23 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Okay, yes it's a bit over the top, but she just sounds proud. Be thankful:)
    new_mom808

    Answer by new_mom808 at 8:24 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • Maybe your MIL is just more huggy/kissy affectionate than you and your side of the family? I wouldn't think that was a bad thing at all. She sounds like a proud grandma. Sometimes though the MIL / DIL relationship can be one of the trickiest to successfully maneuver.
    mommyheymommy

    Answer by mommyheymommy at 8:26 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • my mother in law is like that with the babies too. When they get older she moves on to the next baby that comes along
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 8:26 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • She's a GRANDMOTHER!!!! That's what grandmothers do!! They think they are the only grandmother in the world and their grandbaby is the only one ever born, it's natural!! I know lots of grandmothers who are like that.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 8:34 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • That would bother me as well. Especially when she gets upset when your daughter doesn't want to hug her (etc). I think it's more of her wanting that affection. She might've had a idea in her head of what being a grandma is and she thinks that's how it should be. I know some people do this type of thing also out of insecurity as well.

    And no, in response to another post, this is not what Grandmother's do. They hug, they kiss, they play, but they don't obsess over it.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:52 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

  • I just have to wonder if it was the OP's mother and not MIL if she would feel the same way.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 9:14 PM on Jul. 7, 2010

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