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what would you do/say if your hubby came home at 6 am?

he left at like 4 pm yesterday and went to hang out at a friends house, and i called at 3 and asked him not to come home all late, and not to wait until 4 am to try to come home. and it was 6 am before he came home, he did not even come in yet, he is outside and fell asleep inthe car im assuming. i had been tossing and turning all night ( i cant sleep well when hes not home) and barely got even a wink of sleep, when i checked the clock last it was 5 am, and i just woke back up and the car is outside. i am super pissed but unsure of how to handle the situation.

 
secondtyme520

Asked by secondtyme520 at 6:22 AM on Jul. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,344 Credits)
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Answers (20)
  • oooo..I'd be royally pissed! My ex husband used to do that to me all the time. It eventually got to a point where he'd leave for work in the morning on a Friday,sneak nice going out clothes in the car with him and I wouldn't see him again until Sunday. Once, I found him about 5 a.m. passed out in his truck that he had pulled over onto a sidestreet and parked. I went to his window and banged on it and scared the crap out of him,lol.
    All the fighting, all the tears,all the beggin and pleading,all the threats I gave never did anything. The only thing that worked was a divorce..cuz then he could do what he wanted and I didn't care.
    Thats in extreme circumstance, don't think thats my advice to you!
    In between I did stay out really late a few times to get even but I was miserable while I was out because I knew why I was doing it...I really wanted to be at home. ANd he would usually get a sitter and take off when I did that.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 9:38 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • He's not doing what you asked! You said not to come home late. Coming home at the crack of dawn instead of 4am isn't better! This behavior is ridiculous,leaving home and staying away for 14 hrs is unaceptable. We'd be having a talk about responsibility and being a grown up.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:45 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • No way. He is not doing what she asked by staying out all night! He is acting like a teenager and really needs to rethink his priorities. If he has a wife, he should be home with her and not out drinking all night - he needs to grow up!

    You need to talk to your husband - not necessarily yelling at him, but just tell him how it made you feel - that you were worried about him and that you are angry. If this is a habit of his, talk to him about Alcoholics Anonymous.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 6:46 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • If you had to ask him not to come home late, I think it's safe to assume that this is common behavior. Change the locks next time.
    DMac08

    Answer by DMac08 at 6:59 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Honestly, if it were me, I would go out and check on him. Then after I had woken him up, and made sure he was okay, I would ask him what the hell his problem was. I know, that the other approaches of being nicer may work better. But, honestly, if my husband had been out all night, I would be hurt and angry, especially if I had asked him to come home. In my marriage, it would be a huge issue if either of us just went out and stayed out all night. I believe, that when you are married, everyone needs some them time, but both parties have to focus on their family, and what is right for everyone. To me, him staying out all night was completely selfish behavior, and if it were my husband, I would have no problem telling him he was acting like a selfish asshole and better straighten up, that we depended on him!
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 7:50 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I would calmly ask him for an explanation. I would then calmly ask him why he prefers to hang out with his friends rather than to spend time at home with me. Tell him you want the truth. Ask him if you are doing something that drives him away. Most men I know will retreat when they are upset, neglected, or nagged, rather than face the problems. If you married him knowing he had character issues, that is one thing that won't change unless he decides he wants to be different. If he has just started staying out all night, then that's a definite sign there is something wrong in the marriage. If he were my husband, I would go out to the car right now and make sure he was okay. Love shows concern even when it is angry. I have learned over the years that problems in marriage are never 100% to 0% blame. It is usually shared by about 50/50, at the least. So if you approach it that way, you should be able to make progress.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:28 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Actually, I've been thinking about this and after I saw he was sleeping out in his car, I'd start throwing all of his crap and clothes out on the front lawn. So when he woke up he'd know exactly where he stood with me.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 8:12 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I'll put him out of the house, he can go stay there with the people who was more important then me. And he can only come home, when i decide he sorry.

    That's what i do.
    Cos no-one deserve to be treated like that.



    Michelle
    Michma

    Answer by Michma at 7:57 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • If he is doing this frequently, which he must be if you had to ask him not to come home late like that, I have a different thought for you. Tell him next time you will have to call the police and ask them to do a welfare check on him. That you are worried there is something terribly wrong.

    If it were me, I'd change the locks like someone else said. It isn't fair that you sit up all night worrying about this uncaring man. You have children you are responsible for. Think about it carefully and put it out there that you aren't going to stand for his irresponsible behavior anymore. You deserve better.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 8:11 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • id have said dont let the door hit your ass on your way back out of this house!
    oppsdiditagain

    Answer by oppsdiditagain at 8:39 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

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