Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How would you feel about this?

So my cousin is getting out of jail in a couple months and will be living with my meme... I am about to have a baby girl and I know my meme is going to want her there sometimes, but I feel scared to bring her there knowing my cousin will be there. He killed 2 people which is why he was in jail, he is getting out a little earlier because of good behaviour, but it still makes me worry, and I dont think I ever want my child around him.. I told this to my mom, but she thinks it's silly because he is family and would never hurt his family.. but he murdered 2 people from being on drugs so who knows what he would do?! I just dont know how to tell my meme that I dont want my daughter anywhere around him, and he will always be there.. what would you do? how would you feel?
..thanks for your answers!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:44 AM on Jul. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • ya never allow it either, it would be a cold day in hell before that would allowed, hell the being on drugs when he did it was enough for me, nope.. i wont even let my DD over at my inlaws unless they smoke outside and not in house..

    Answer by oppsdiditagain at 8:48 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • You need to talk this over with your meme. Could she go to your house instead to take care of or visit your baby? Can meme and baby visit at your mom's or a friend's? Will your cousin be getting a job? That would have him out of the house. Trust your instincts and do what you need to do. Best wishes

    Answer by elizabr at 8:50 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Just tell her out right what you told us.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:50 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I would talk to my Meme and tell her, that I loved her with all my heart, and I wanted my baby to love her and be around her as much as possible, but that because of his past, I simply could not allow my baby to be around my cousin. That the drug use, and the murders in his past made him way to dangerous to put him in my baby's life. I would tell her I would gladly come and get her so that she could come to my house and spend time with the baby, or that we would come and visit when he was going to be out of the house.
    Your responsibility first and foremost is to protect your child, she will understand that you are doing just that. I am sure that she did not agree to him living there thinking his past actions would simply be accepted by everyone. Follow your heart, and stay true to what is best for you and your baby.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 8:55 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Just tell your Meme how you feel. I don't think that I'd want my child(ren) around him, at least not until he proved that he wasn't getting back into the drugs scene. She should understand. Offer to have her stay at your house to visit the baby.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:01 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Most murders are a crime of passion and usually a one time thing. They are usually the ones you DO want to be around out of all the crimes committed bc the chance of repeat of offense is low. However, I would be concerned with the drugs. I can't see him wanting to sit around the house and bother your child though. He will have to be out and working. Let meme watch the child while he is working and you will be fine.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:42 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Why can't your Meme visit you at your house, or at another reletives house?
    You don't have to visit her, especially if he makes you feel uncomfortable. I definately understand not wanting your child anywhere around him.

    admckenzie, so that makes it okay for him to be around people? He KILLED two people! I wouldn't care if it was a crime of passion or plain out cold blood. Murder is murder. Period.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:00 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Does this guy have any remorse? is he still at risk for falling into old behaviors? has he redeemed himself and his he committed to living a clean life on the outside?
    you have to have an open mind in every situation and until you can be sure he has remorse and is committed to living a healthy drug free crime free life keep the baby away. Respect is earned and he needs to get out and earn that respect until then why should he get to be around your baby or anybody else's.
    You are your child's best advocate and if people can't respect your wishes then fine but do stand up and protect your baby until you know for a fact that this man is safe

    Answer by togo90210 at 10:41 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Your child your rules...period!

    Answer by salexander at 11:06 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I think if meme wants to spend time with the baby she'll have to come to my home. I would be concerned to have my child near him as well!

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 3:06 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.