Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does this make me selfish?

We just got married in May, i lost my job a few months before (still looking for a job & unimployment ran out). We pulled off our wedding with pennies left in our pocket & no help from anyone. We did get money from our wedding, but we used it all to pay off our debts. Now, my husbands friend is getting married in Oct. My DH will be the best man. I confided in a friend that we are very worried we will not be able to pay for the tux and the cost of the Bachelor party. She just freaked out on me calling me selfish because people spent money attending our wedding & bachelor/bachelorette party. Does this make me selfish? I just confided in her that we're broke as a joke & her reponse was that i am selfish.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Jul. 8, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Your friend should have been understanding and given you ideas on how you can afford the party and the
    Tux. You are not selfish just being honest. Thankfully you have some time to come up with creative ways to make some money to set aside for this wedding and hopefully by then you will be employed, good luck with everything!

    Answer by togo90210 at 10:33 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • It doesn't make you selfish, it makes you honest. There is a lot of time between now and Oct, can you set aside a little bit of money each week for the tux/bachelor party? Maybe she's just overwhelmed by the wedding planning and reacted poorly because of that.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:53 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • It doesn't make you selfish to realize that you cannot pay for everything. Especially if it puts a strain on your family budget.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:52 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Absolutely not! Weddings have gotten out of control. So much wasted money. I would think that if your husbands friend who regards him important enough to be his "best man" he would understand. No wonder most young marriages start off broke.

    Answer by Mortimer at 9:56 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • You need not foot the entire cost of the Bachelor party- only plan it. The idea that the best man should pay is outdated. He simply sets it up, handles the invites, and lets the guests know the cost involved if attending.

    Answer by lovinangels at 9:56 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • It does not make you selfish, you were being truthful, but yu can still make an effort from now till then.

    Answer by older at 9:57 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I don't think it makes you selfish! If you don't have the money, you don't have the money!!

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:58 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Oh no! I am shocked at your friend. If you don't have the money you don't. I am sorry that you are having these hard times. You certainly are not being selfish.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:59 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • It does not make you selfish in any way! Honestly, I would save what I could and do the best I could on what I had to work with. The truth is it should be more about the friendship than anything else!

    Answer by mommy11260 at 9:59 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • If it is really that much of a problem, your husband should go to the groom and tell him that he can't afford to be in his wedding. The groom will then either offer to pay for the tux or he will ask someone else to be best man. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. It has nothing to do with selfishness.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:01 AM on Jul. 8, 2010