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3 Bumps

Why does this make me uncomfortable? Am I too paranoid?

I let my DD, 16, go to her boyfriend's house for the first time, & talked to the Mom before hand to make sure we were on the same page. He's been here a few times. So, I say that over here, they stay downstairs in the common areas of the house & don't go in bedrooms or close doors. She agreed & said that their house is one floor and it's impossible to be alone there, she would be home all day as well as the little sister. So, when I came to pick her up, I saw that they were down the hall in his room, watching TV, door open. The Mom was in the LR & the little sister was bopping around-her room is opposite his. I have an uneasy feeling, even though I know they were probably just sitting & watching a movie, maybe holding hands & a smooch or 2, but I can't help feeling like I watch more closely when the 2 of them are here, & being in a boy's room, even in that situation isn't a great idea. (No TVs in BRs here) I trust her, tho.

Answer Question
 
dflygirl7

Asked by dflygirl7 at 10:03 AM on Jul. 8, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 12 (751 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Don't let her go back there. Explain to her why. Tell her she entertains at your house.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:05 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • If you are uncomfortable with it then keep them at your house for visits. You have know idea what is going on there, and you must go with your first instinct.

    Be sure your daughter knows about safe sex, I know we don't condon it as adults but they should be prepared if they do make any mistakes.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:07 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • It's unlikely that anything was going on but TV watching. Perhaps their house isn't as big and the "common area" is too small or they are in mom's way. You'll have to exhale eventually, but I understand the apprehension as your daughter is starting to date.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:07 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • the door was open i wouldnt worry. my parnets were very stick and we could go in my room but door was to be open i dont think they should be in a bed together watchn movies.
    BellaDiamond

    Answer by BellaDiamond at 10:12 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • The truth is, if they want to fool around, they are going to find a way to do it. I remember being 16. My boyfriend and I used to go behind the stairs in school. It's good that you watch her closely though. But you can only do so much. You have to hope that she will make the right decisions and let her have a little room. I'm not looking forward to my kids dating! I remember too much!!!!
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 10:13 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Unfortunately, you can't protect your daughter forever. I know, believe me, I know, you want to. You have to trust her to make her own wise decisions. Arm her with knowledge and by all means, be honest and open with her.
    mpeada

    Answer by mpeada at 10:23 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Yes, you are a bit paranoid, if they wanted to do something they will find a way over your watchful eye.
    older

    Answer by older at 11:49 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're smart. I have no intentions of letting my daughter go to any boyfriend's house. I'd have to know and trust the other parents an awful lot if I did. I'll be much happier with her socializing here and in public places on group dates when the time comes (in three years).
    wahmoftwo

    Answer by wahmoftwo at 6:43 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I agree with doodle and some of the others.Our downstairs has several common rooms theirs may not.With the door open and little sis across the hall they were pretty safe.She is your daughter and if it concerns you keep them at your house.

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 11:47 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • i think you are entirely too paranoid. By 16, nearly half of all girls are having sex http://www.iub.edu/~kinsey/resources/FAQ.html#Age ). If the worst thing your daugher does is lay on a bed and watch movies in a room where the door is open and anyone can walk by at any time, then you are in good shape! You're right, they might have stolen a kiss or two and he likely had his arm around her, but those are things that even the best kids do in grade school. Besides, as other posters have said, teens are increadibly sneaky and if they really wanted to have sex or even fondle each other, they would find a way to do it somehow. There is no way to supervise your child 24/7 and that's why it is your job to instill good morals in them and educate them. She should also feel comfortable coming to you and talking about her relationships with boys and even asking for birth control and condoms so that she will be protected when she does.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 11:43 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

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