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3 Bumps

I think I might be gay. What to do?

I've been with DH for 6 years. We have young children. I stay at home, DH works but feels stuck and is a generally miserable person. I'm not attracted to him at all. I'm not really attracted to any men. Penises gross me out, a lot. I don't have much of a sex drive, and I don't lust after women, but I feel more comfortable around women than men. I think I might have fallen in love a girl once. Nothing ever happened, but I felt very close to her, and I think she did to me as well. I've never cheated, I've never been with a woman, even kissing. I just don't feel right with my husband. I don't feel right about having sex with the men I've had sex with. It was never about doing it for me, it was about me having power over them. I didn't like it. I don't want to destroy my family, but I just don't feel right. I'm not happy, and I'm really confused. Am I gay or just unhappy? This is for real, please don't bash.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Jul. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • It doesn't sound like "gay" to me. I vote that it is probably unhappiness

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:59 AM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • You don't sound gay to me either. It sounds like you are just unhappy.

    Answer by My3LittleGirls at 12:00 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I think you're just unhappy as well.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 12:01 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • You need to do what makes you happy. Whether you're gay or not you're obviously not happy in the marrige you're in now. I say fix the current situation you're in now and then worry about whether you're gay or not. Your kids will love you unconditionally.

    Answer by vnw1405 at 12:01 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • You sound unhappy. Can you talk to someone about this and try to help yourself and your family? You all deserve to be happy. best wishes

    Answer by elizabr at 12:02 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • i'd say you're not happy, and feeling 'stuck' yourself. whatever you happen to be, gay or straight, you need to fix you before you can answer this question. choosing one sex over another will not automatically render you happy. perhaps you are depressed? have you talked to a physician about your physical-self?

    Answer by dullscissors at 12:03 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • You sound insecure and unhappy to me. And BTW, penises ARE gross. Only men think they are something to marvel and behold.

    Answer by jreneei at 12:03 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Unhappy .

    Answer by MTM at 12:04 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • It sounds like you and your dh are just in a rut. I really don't think you are gay - if you were, I'm sure you would know it for certain.

    Answer by neebug3766 at 12:05 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I think you're trying to figure yourself out, without really having past experiences in your life with women, how would you really know? My mom was with men her whole life up until about 8 years ago. She said she had been lying to herself, she told us she was gay and started having relationships with women. In her most recent relationship my mom has been dating her for 6 years and I've never seen my mom happier. I know for her it was hard to deal with the way "society" is, with people being judgemental over your choices but she got over it and basically said if they can't accept it, I don't care and don't need them in my life and I applaud her for that. Do you feel comfortable speaking to your husband about how you feel? Whether you are gay or just unhappy it is an unfair situation for your husband to be in, I am sure he needs his wife. Good luck.


    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:09 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

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