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4 Bumps

was your SO a good dad right from the start or did it take a little bit for it to kick in?

My husband and I were 24 when we had our little girl. He was always doing something way before this happened and it kinda never stopped. I think he changed a total of 2 diapers when she was little and watched her a few times for me, but always with a sigh like it was just so much to ask. He never really played with her that I could tell and it started to really bug me and affect the way I felt about him. A year or two ago (my daughter will be 5 this year) he really started to change. He became the dad I knew he could always be. Now she wants to be around him and there are no tears if I leave them. She still prefers to be with me, but sometimes it is just daddy time. Has anyone else gone through this where it took the dad awhile to grow up? We are having another and he is so excited about it, which he never really was before. He never had a dad role model, his would win crappiest father award for sure. so that was hard for him

 
Savymom25

Asked by Savymom25 at 1:42 PM on Jul. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 13 (964 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • Yes, he was, although I think it took him a long time to realize that he was a good dad.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 4:47 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • My ex didn't want much to do with her until about 18 months. I was told when she was 3 weeks, not to hold her unless she was hungry since she already knew to cry for attention. Then I was told that he would not "babysit" just so I could have some me time. I was also told that he would only pick her up when it was convienient and not because I needed to do something. Now that she's 3, he is an excellent father.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:46 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • It took him a little while before he became a great dad. But quite honestly that was because I thought I was supposed to do everything for our kids. Once I gave him the opportunity to be with our son, he stepped right up.
    Erica_Smerica

    Answer by Erica_Smerica at 1:47 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • mine was never a good dad, i mean he loves our daughter and all, but still, he's never changed a diaper ever. and never ever watched her alone ever. she's 2 now, the most he's done was take her to buy some treats or something from a supermarket. he's never taken her potty, or fed her. he put her to sleep maybe 5 times in her life. whenever i needed help he would instantly, behind my back of course call his mom or sister and they'd appear to help. i have no problem with them, they're great, but i would be unimagineably proud to see him do these things on his own. i think my husband will get he crappier award. lol. its like mommy duty to them or something,. i'm due with my second next month, and i think he's still not getting it. but i don't know, maybe when i have the 2nd he'll get closer with the 1st. thats what i'm guessing :P
    fefe87

    Answer by fefe87 at 1:48 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • He was a good dad right from the start. :)
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 1:52 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Hubby was 25 and I was 24 when our first was born.

    When our oldest was born I had severe complications. My hubby jumped in and was a great dad from the beginning. He stayed in the hospital with me the whole 4 days I was there. He was the one changing his diaper and checking on him when he would cough. There were times he didnt' even wake me up to nurse, he would sit next to me and hold baby while he ate :)

    He's still a great dad. I don't have to ask for help, he knows what needs to be done and does it.
    LorisChar

    Answer by LorisChar at 1:54 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Mine is finally becoming a good dad. Him and I were dating when I had my first at 17 (it wasn't his) and he tried to be a "dad" figure for him, but he was still pretty immature. Now that we've had two girls together and it's almost 5 years later, he has really started to come out of his shell. I've got to admit that I've kind of pushed him into it, but I knew he had great potential. I tend to guilt him into things like, "would you want to sit in a dirty diaper and get diaper rash?!" Things like that... and now that he realizes that each of them is this cool little person, he is really starting to interact with them and be part of their lives. Our oldest DD crying for him when we dropped her off at the grandparents really started to solidify his dadness... lol! She didn't even care that I was leaving, it was the fact that Daddy was and he felt really proud/loved by that. Each man has the potential, some just need to be shoved.
    things_not_sane

    Answer by things_not_sane at 1:57 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Mine was a perfect dad right from the very start. But I know I got lucky!
    My3LittleGirls

    Answer by My3LittleGirls at 2:14 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • It was almost immediate. Both my parents and in laws were extremely surprised that when our son was just weeks old my husband would pack him up with a bottle I had expressed and head out with him to the hardware store, a restaurant, etc. so I could rest. It kinda surprised me too - I knew he was great with my older kids (they were 4, 6, and 8 when we met), but I had no idea he would be so involved with such a young baby! Our son is now 20 months and on nights and weekends he's a more hands on parent than I am.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:22 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Mine has always been a great dad. In a way, I do more, but our son couldn't ask for a better daddy. I lucked out with him.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 2:39 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

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