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When you handle things completely different....

My SO and I are fighting really bad. The bad part is that we aren't fighting over anything important, its just bickering. My question is, I handle things by talking, yelling, and making up. He handle's things by running away and not discussing it, he wants things to just work themselves out. That upsets me and I get madder. But my way of talking and yelling to solve a fight doesn't work for him either. Most of the time, we get along so well, we can literally talk everyday for a year without fighting, but now that this fight has started neither of us seems to be getting over it. And its about to split us up, bickering over nothing is about to split us up! That seems stupid to let it happen. So what do you do when you handle things so differently?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Jul. 8, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • You answered your own question. Stop what you are doing. It's not working. SO and I were like you two. I had to learn to suck it up and let it go and he's right. It does work itself out. It takes two to fight. If you stop he'll stop. Hug his neck instead. It's a whole lot more fun and less stressful.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:05 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • wow well me and my so fight just about everyDAY, not fight but argue...i dont know, he yells and i like to 'just stop', and ofrget about it...it bothers me when we cant discuss something normally, but im not going to sit there and fight about it all night, especially if its insignificant...thats why i leave the room for a while and eventually he comes and finds me and we're fine :))...i cant believe you guys dont argue more than that!! maybe theres something else behind this, like youve been bottling things in for too long??
    ahasugar

    Answer by ahasugar at 3:00 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Is counseling an option? they can set you both up with different ways to hear and listen to each other - if you want to have this work FORVER< its not a bad investment when you think about it. There are books on how to learn to listen to each other -you BOTH have to be willing to make some changes
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:01 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Me and my hubby have the same styles as you and yours. Over time we've learned that respect and accomodating each other is key. So I have to let go more than I'd like to (I want to talk it all out!) And he has to find some time to address things (things he'd rather sweep under the rug) it actually works out cause usually I let go and just go about my day and then the next day we have a short conversation about it. So we both get what we need in some way. I've actually learned that it's not worth talking about everything and he knows we have to talk about some things for them to blow over. We've never went a year without fighting EVER so that is really amazing though!
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:14 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • We don't fight ofetn just bicker probably at least 3 times a week & it is his fault. Most of the time I try to not bicker but he gets upset over small stuff.
    reesemom

    Answer by reesemom at 4:57 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • It's kind of that way with DH and I (we don't fight that much however), except I'm the one that will have had enough and he keeps on to me about something. If I say "I've had enough, I don't want to talk about it anymore," he keeps pushing it. I just ignore him. We do eventually work it out, but I need to distance myself at that moment so I can calm down and not say anything rash.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 12:24 PM on Jul. 9, 2010