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How much affection is normal??

Okay basically my SO and I grew up very differently, I had parents who were madly in love and it was obvious..his slept in separate rooms since he was 12 and they were more like friends. I grew up with tons of affection and he didn't have much. Not sure if that's why but now here we are, I love being affectionate and he rarely does. He says he just doesn't feel the need to kiss or always be affectionate but I feel like if that's important to me then shouldn't he put in a little more effort? Esp because we're currently rarely having sex (have a 2yr old and we're both VERY busy/tired) so how hard is it to be a little more reassuring that he still loves me? Maybe I'm just paranoid? Please help! (btw it's a long story but we have not been together for even 6mths so it's still kind of new, even though our DD is 2)

Answer Question

Asked by lexi8622 at 3:30 PM on Jul. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,640 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • how is ur dd 2 and u been together only 6months??? im confused??

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 3:33 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • we are the same way. i'v come to realize it's just how he was raised and i cant change it. i do little things like catch him in the kitchen and give him a quick hug and a kiss just because. and in bed a will snuggle up to him for a few minutes and chat then roll away a little and let him have his space.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 3:34 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • @ DeeMarie87- haha it's REALLY a long story, I didn't find out he was her biological father until she was 18mths..and since then he's been involved/amazing and miraculously we're in a relationship and living together now- but that's the absolute beyond shortest possible version..

    ALSO- he is 31, I'm 24- he says since I'm "younger" I expect more affection and have a higher sex drive but how many people think this is legit?

    Comment by lexi8622 (original poster) at 3:37 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Since you aren't going to change him you just have to accept it. Talk to him about how you feel, sure you have. But tell him it is important for you to reconnect with him every day. So especially at night after being seperated all day, tell him "reconnect" and all you need is a hug and a kiss. It takes 5 seconds. Not 5 minutes. Maybe in time, a long time, he will change a little.

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 3:38 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • LOL oh ok, i was like wait a min what?? LOL any ways, i really do agree with PP. MY dh can be the same way...

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 3:38 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • idk about the sex thing just depends on the person, my DH is 26 and im 22 were always horny LOL, WHEN HE COMES TO UR HOUSE ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED LOL!!

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 3:40 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • What is "normal" is whatever two people agree on and are comfortable with. I wasn't raised in an affectionate household. My SO was. He has kind of "eased" me into it though rather than just being all in my face and touchy feely all the time. As much as you crave it and think of it as a "reminder" that you're loved, he probably thinks "hey, I'm here. If I didn't love you I wouldn't be. Isn't that enough?" Have you tried to initiate a hug or a kiss or something without just being in his face/nagging about it?

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 3:48 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Thanks, all of that advice makes sense and maybe I'm just a little oversensitive lol. I definitely don't nag about it and when we did talk about it, he said he had no idea I felt that way- because I'm not all over him..but I always feel like I'm holding back ha. Guess I should just be happy and grateful when I get it :)

    Comment by lexi8622 (original poster) at 4:04 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

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