Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What to do...without burning my bridges (MIL)

So my MIL is watching my girls for the weekend because my hubby and I are going 4 wheeling at the Rubicon. MIL planned on taking them to a firend's daughter's birthday on sat( I didn't know this). Well last friday I found out that my niece's bday was the same day, and that my parents were willing to pick up the girls and drop them back off after my niece's party. Well, the friend's bday is at 1 and my niece's is at 2. So MIL sent me a text asking if my parents could pick them up at 2:30...which would make them an hour late to a bday party that is only scheduled to last 2hrs(it's at a toddler gymnastics place) I do feel aa little bad for my MIL cause she is doing us a big favor by taking the girls in the first place, and she is pretty much the only one who will take them over night. So I kinda feel like I don't wanna burn my bridges and piss her off. BUT I really want my girls to go to their cousin's bday party.

Answer Question

Asked by colieshea at 4:57 PM on Jul. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Can't you just let her know how important it is (in a nice way) to you that they go to their cousin's party?? If she's somewhat normal she should understand!

    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:00 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Somewhat normal and MIL in the same thought... I didn't know that existed

    Answer by HuskerMommy08 at 5:11 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I honestly would skip the cousin's birthday party and let MIL take them to the party she planned on going to. She is doing you a favor, why should she have to be inconvenienced?

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:29 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • LOL she can be pretty selfish sometimes. I did let her know how important it is to me that they go, and I was def nice about it. We were texting this am and the last thing I said was that my parents aren't willing to be an hour late and I asked how long would the party last. She never got back to me after that.

    I actually have a pretty good relationship with the MIL, but she always has the "poor me" mindset... like everyone should cater to her even if it is an inconvenience to others. It's sooo irritating! However she is the most willing to babysit when we need her. That's why this is hard.

    Comment by colieshea (original poster) at 5:34 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • @ becauseimthemom,

    My thinking is that it's more of an inconvenience to my parents. They are the ones who will be doing all the dropping off and picking up. MIL will just have to hang out for a while without the girls. I see your point though. She is doing us a huge favor, and if it were anyone else's bday, besides family it would not be an issue.

    Comment by colieshea (original poster) at 5:39 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I would also skip the cousins birthday party. That is asking a lot for someone who already agreed to have them spend the night. you should be so psyched that someone will take your kids over night, i would not even worry about it. They will have plenty of more birthday parties.

    Please don't take this the wrong way, but if it were me watching your child i would think it would be pretty rude of you to ask me to do what YOU want me to do with your DD while you are out of town. Especially if i already made plans to do something with the kiddo. That would just be a big spoiler for the weekend. That is just my personal opinion though. If you really want her to go to that party, then you should have planned to stay home & take her yourself instead of inconveniencing your MIL after asking her to watch her over night.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:46 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I know that you'd like to set everything up and have it go the way you want, but I say go with with your MIL wants to do. She's the one who will be watching the kids, so I'd go with what works best for her.

    having the help would probably be most important to you in the long run vs your kids not spending time at a particular party.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 5:54 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Ok, thnx for all your advice. I told my MIL that she can just keep her plans and they will have to miss their cousin's bday this year. It is unfair for her to have to change her plans when she is doing us such a huge favor in the first place.

    Comment by colieshea (original poster) at 8:06 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I don't buy the the whole it's rude to ask the sitter to do, take or participate in a scheduled event with the child. I would not  imageine a sitter would object to picking up a child from say, a baseball game if they were being paid. So why the difference if it's just mil doing the sitting? As longs as expectations and requirements were stated upfront, mil should have said her objections then so you could have made other arrangements or work out a compromise.


    Answer by isabellalecour at 10:38 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.