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My SO is in law enforcement - and feels that every week on his last day of the week - he should be able to go out drinking (usually beer), play pool or whatever (they have ended up at time to time at clubs) with a couple of his co-workers. I am a SAHM right now - he and I hardly get to go out - mostly late night movies. Do you think that this is fair? Am I being to sensitive by feeling it isn't fair?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Jul. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • No, that is completely reasonable to expect him to spend some free time with you and your child. I understand his job is very high stress, and he probably has some pressure from the people he works with to hang out and all that, but still. He needs to consider you and the baby, too. Talk to him about it.

    Answer by LittleWeloosMom at 11:34 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I don't think you are being fair because he should be able to have a night out with his buddies. As well you should!! I think your real issue is adding a date night, family night and making sure you are are able to go out with your friends as well. But don't take away his time just because you don't get it...just start making room for you.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 11:38 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • i dont think your wrong at all. we should be worried about spending time with you & the kids and if he does want a night out with his buddies, it shouldnt be done unless you guys have a babysitter for your kids and your getting to go out too wether with him or alone. unless you guys want to take turns, one week he goes, next week you go.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:43 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • on one hand, a man should be allowed to go out with work buddies, but on the other hand, it's not fair for him to leave u at home. i'm stuck at home all day too and my hubby goes out without me and i think its messed up. we never ever get to go out on dates cuz we can't afford to go out or to get a sitter. so basically i am home all day. doesn't seem fair to me.

    Answer by Butterflysky_24 at 11:51 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I think you guys need to compromise. I think its only fair that EACH of you get some free time to yourself, and with eachother. Maybe 1 week he can go out with his buddies, the next week you can go out with your girlfriends, and the week after that you can get a babysitter and go out with eachother. Find a way that you both are getting what you want.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:53 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • How often do you get to go out?

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:23 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Im sorry about the situation. My husband is Active Duty Army and he is under alot of stress and time constraints, and he needs time to relax and recover. I sometimes forget how stressful it can be. I wouldnt want my husband going out like that though. Maybe try to plan something for you two to do together. I dont know. My husband is kinda nerdy and likes to have friends over for video games and such. Wish you the best.

    Answer by Sillybillymel at 12:50 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • i honestly dont think you're being fair...everyone needs to have a life outside of their relationship or they'll start to lose who they are as an individual....i think the real problem here is that you dont have a life outside of your family. i think you need to figure out a way to get some "me time"...try joining a group or something when he or another family member is able to watch the kids. i also think its important to have regular time with your SO just hanging out as friends. find a common interest, even if its a TV show that you DVR and watch after you put the kids to bed. its important to nurture your friendship with your SO as well as your friendship with others....there needs to be a balance for both of you.

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 9:21 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

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