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8 Bumps

Am I wrong because I feel like I might as well just break all ties with my sons?

What is it about me that makes me so insignificant to my sons? Typical Example - months ago a family member died, I needed to get there for the funeral - I couldn't get my dogs into a kennel and my own sons wouldn't come feed my dogs so that I could travel to the funeral. So here, we go again. I have to go to the opposite side of Texas for 1.5 days (job interview - relocating). I booked my dogs into a kennel - but the kennel canceled at the last minute. Out of desperation I asked my son to help me, I even offered to pay him what I was gonna pay the kennel - again no. I told him that it was really important, and I know it's last minute, but I'm in a serious bind here and I really need his help. Still - he just couldn't be bothered. When I got upset that he was leaving me in the lurch - he accused me of trying to make him feel guilty. Then he blew up at me. I'm so tired of this.I'm certainly good enough when they want money.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Jul. 8, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (34)
  • I really don't know you, so I don't know the whole situation,Maybe he just doesn't like your dogs?
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 11:54 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • This is disrespectful behaviour and I don't have grown-up sons but I personally wouldn't stand for it and you shouldn't either, I feel for you. If they won't help you even in these situations then I think that you've got to stop helping them out when they're in a serious bind, I know that it goes against a mother's nature to not help her sons but surely they need to start appreciating all you do/have done for them? You raised them and they should respect you for that.
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 11:55 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I guess I would say that you need to get tough and lay down the law , tell them they are selfish and self-centered and say that you need help. The kennel CANCELLED? Yikes! You better find another kennel! That is crazy!
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 11:57 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • This is disrespectful behaviour and I don't have grown-up sons but I personally wouldn't stand for it and you shouldn't either, I feel for you. If they won't help you even in these situations then I think that you've got to stop helping them out when they're in a serious bind, I know that it goes against a mother's nature to not help her sons but surely they need to start appreciating all you do/have done for them? You raised them and they should respect you for that.

    I agree with this 100%. Very well said.
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 11:57 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • Its sad that your son doesn't seem to care enough to help u out. I dont know u or your son, maybe he doesnt like dogs, either way I sill feel like he should be there for you. But as a mother I dont know if I could just right off my child, even if they were grown and rude. Good luck to you whatever you decide and I hope your son wakes up and realizes that he should be there for his mother.
    csmomma2010

    Answer by csmomma2010 at 11:58 PM on Jul. 8, 2010

  • I wouldn't give any more money when they ask. Tell them that you had to spend your extra money hiring a last minute emergency dog sitter and you don't have any to help them.

    I'm sorry. That really has to be hurtful. My child is only three and I know all the work and time I have spent doing all i can into better her life. They sound unappreciative and disrespectful. Maybe you should tell them that their actions are hurtful.
    LittleWeloosMom

    Answer by LittleWeloosMom at 12:03 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • they can't help you out? well don't help them out! I understand it's hurtful but are you willing to just toss them out of your life so easily?
    FITmama2B

    Answer by FITmama2B at 12:09 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • It all was just so hurtful. It's not that he don't like dogs, he has 5 himself. He just couldn't be bothered because it was *too last minute for him" and he couldn't be put out because he has to work tomorrow - but he sure had time to hint and hint and hint about needing new shoes, and he sure had time to drag me to 4 different stores before he settled on a pair, and he sure had time when he needed money to get his car out of the impound. Y'all are right - it's disrespect. I didn't raise them this way, but I know where they got it. I guess it's my fault for staying with the man who taught them this is the way you treat people. I'm just so hurt, I didn't know your grown kids could hurt you so deeply. If I was constantly calling asking for trivial things, I could understand - but I promise you - these two times are the *only * times I've asked them for help. I missed my grandmother's funeral when I couldn't help w/ the dogs.
    ItsNotSoBad

    Answer by ItsNotSoBad at 12:13 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Fitmama2B - no not easily at all - this is coming to a place where I'm feeling the strain of "the last straw". I could write a book of pages on the stuff that's prior to today. There is no way the word "easy" would ever fit into this equation. I gave up my life for my kids - I never wasn't there for them, I never neglected them, hurt them, made them do without - I wasn't a permissive mom, but I wasn't overly strict either. I bust back and ass to care for a provide for them. I was a devoted mom. I guess, somehow, this is my fault.
    ItsNotSoBad

    Answer by ItsNotSoBad at 12:18 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I am so sorry to hear that. I have noticed alot of people in my generation being disrespectful and it seems to be the norm. It is the sad state of our society.
    Sillybillymel

    Answer by Sillybillymel at 12:43 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

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