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Why do people seem to think that marriage is the only way to be truly committed to someone?

Serious question, just wondering what you ladies think about it. I'm not saying that it doesn't work for some (or even a lot of) people, but I was just wondering why so many people seem to think that marriage is the only way to express how much they love someone or that they are really committed to the person they love. Personally, I doubt I'll get married again. I just don't feel that it's very important and it doesn't seem to mean much at all to a lot of people. Marriage doesn't keep people faithful or in love or anything else, it's just a legal binding to someone. What's really important, IMO, is the relationship you have with someone you love, how much you love them, sharing similar life goals and values, etc.

Anyway, what are your reasons for marriage? Why do/did you think it's so important? And anything else you'd like to add about it.

 
Mrs.BAT

Asked by Mrs.BAT at 2:35 AM on Jul. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 38 (105,028 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Marriage to me is just a piece of paper stating your stuck lol...i have been with my SO for 10 years, were not married. We have 3 kids together. Marriage is very over rated and sometimes pointless. A lot of people dont think before they get married, some just spurt of the moment kinda of thing and they end up in a divorce. Thats just my opinion.
    Amberlovesher3

    Answer by Amberlovesher3 at 12:04 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I was just as committed to this relationship before we were married as I am now, I wanted the comfort and safety that a marriage legally gives me and I wanted my husbands last name. Sure we could have continued without marriage by the time we did get married we already had a child and had been together for 5 years, shared a checking account had purchased a car together but things like medical insurance didnt cover me while pregnant, i had to worry about DH being able to make medical decisions for our family if anything happened to me. The list goes on why marriage was the logical next step for us. The main reason I said yes is because I wanted to, when he went down on one knee with my family watching and looked up at me I knew in that moment that I wanted to walk down the aisle and officially be recognized as his wife.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:50 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • We got married mainly because we couldn't think of any reason not to. We were going to be together regardless of status, but the benefits that come with having that little piece of paper seemed like a good idea. Now hubs is joining the army and man do they make you jump through hoops if you're not married.

    Reading back, it kind of sounds like we got married because we're lazy. ;) Oh well, in any case, we're happily lazy together (3 years on Wednesday).
    flitpixie

    Answer by flitpixie at 9:37 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I don't think marriage is the only way to prove how much you love a person, I think it's more about the quality of the relationship. However I was married and at the time I thought it meant something more between me and my husband; though our marriage deteriorated quickly after our first child was born and yet I know people who have been together for years and have kids and still love each other so I know firsthand that being married doesn't mean that a couple has a better or relationship nor do they love each other more than an unmarried couple but I enjoy being married. I miss having someone to call my husband and I miss being a wife.

    momof2inCT2007

    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 2:43 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Honestly I got married to my husband because I love him and because I have children with him...we've been together for 7 years and got married a year ago. Marriage is hard, Sometimes I wonder if we actually knew what we were getting ourselves into but we always work through it. Honestly, it's not about the commitment, people cheat all the time. He was my other half with out with out marriage but we wanted to make it official, complete our family officially and above all...make our God proud. I felt so guilty having kids with him and we weren't husband and wife. Obviously I know that it's a piece of paper and that he can cheat and/or leave me at any moment but I trust him and love him...if it doesn't work out atleast I know we tried. I love being his wife and I love being one. rockin' his last name. Like I said marriage is hard i've only been married a little over a year and it's alot harder then it was being in a relationship.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 3:51 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Marriage gives you legal protections that would cost thousands of dollars.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:01 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Marriage really has nothing to do with the expression of love and it is not designed to keep people faithful to one another. The point of marriage is commitment expressed by the making of vows before God and man. Those vows say that out of the population of this world, this person is the ONE that I choose to commit to for the rest of my life. Those vows are about the other person more than they are about the one who makes them. It is a pledge to one person who will become the focus of all your energy, affection, and dedication for the rest of his life. One of the reasons marriage has become so unimportant is because it is now based primarily on sexual attraction and/or physical attraction. The other reason is that all of life has become about "me", what makes me happy, taking care of me, and on and on and on. God ordained marriage, and humans will never have a better idea. It is the greatest idea He ever had, except salvation
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:50 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • To me marriage is more than a piece of paper. Its what God designed the home to be founded on, and its a joining of two people into one unit. IMO being "committed" and not getting married is an excuse for an easy out, its saying you don't feel your relationship is worth that last step of true, final commitment.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 8:18 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I can't see me ever getting married again. I don't build it up with my adults kids either. The only thing I see different about marriage and non-marital relationships is that people stand up before friends and family and take a verbal vow to forsake all others. To some people speaking those words in front of witnesses and signing a contract to support that means something. To others who have no integrity anyway, it means nothing.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:33 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I totally agree with you, but marriage is a way to legally secure a future for many reasons, including any offsprings. It is certainly not necessary for a commitment, only for legalities.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:50 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

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