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I have a full time step daughter

okay I've had her full time for quite some time...but her mom just got out of prison... my husband doesn't want her to see her 'old mom' that's what she calls her....and now I'm getting attitude like never before....and the poor girl had issues to begin with but now it seems like she's taking it all out on me...(weird behavior, trust me)
any evil step mom advice that turns out happy would be appreciated....or advice she's darn near ten and has sprouted a respectable set of boobies in the last 6 months..I feel like I'm getting hit from all sides :(

Answer Question

Asked by feloniousbelle at 3:50 AM on Jul. 9, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 5 (64 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I use to have step children, until their mother just up and signed all her rights away 3 yrs ago. Now I am legally their mother (I adopted them:) We run into issue like yours, whenever they hear about her or around mother's day/birthday's.
    Children act out in different ways. Considering that BM has caused damage and has hurt them, they tend to take it out on the us. Its natural and understandable.
    We set boundries on this behavior and punishments for breaking those boundries. We acknowlegde their anger/frustrations and let them talk. Support, understanding, and kindness goes a long way, even if they dont show it now.
    We also have a great therapist for them! He's been their therapist for 5 yrs now and he really helps!

    Answer by momsbreak5654 at 5:22 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • A young girl with a bio-mom who has been in prison is bound to have all sorts of emotional issues, from feelings of abandonment to wondering if she will wind up in prison like her "old mom".
    Please find a therapist for her, and your family.

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:33 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I don't have ANY advice for you...I wish I did. I don't think that anyone understands those problems unless they've been there, and I haven't, but I wish you the best. I would just say to make sure that you tell her OFTEN that you love her and want what's best for her, and you're sorry that life has dealt her a hard hand right now. Compassion, sympathy, love and time go a LONG way! I wish my parents had just ONE of those things for us!

    Answer by TimandMely4ever at 9:05 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • The above answers are right on target in my opinion. It is hard being that age anyway, and compound it by extra emotional turmoil. It sounds like you are doing right by her and you can only do what you can do. Love her, help her, support her, and get her the kind of interventions she needs. I think a therapist would really be a good thing to do. It will give her a safe place (I am not implying that you are not safe) to let it all out, and the therapist can help you help her. Good luck!!!

    Answer by Maggiemae4 at 10:09 AM on Jul. 17, 2010

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