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please help, my boyfriend wants to be a musician, and in order for him to do that, i would have to be 100% responsible for most things in the house and get a full time job. how can we compromise on this without me losing my cool with him?

so we have been together (unmarried) for 4 years. i have 2 children (1 from a prev relationship) and i am a SAHM working part time hours. i pay for small things like the internet & water bill and household items, he pays rent, lights, and 1/2 the car pmt and thats it. hes moody bc he cant save up enough money at his job to pursue music, and wont talk with me about it. he just makes nasty comments like how he hates spending his money on bills and feels he shouldnt have to anymore. he said it shouldnt be his responsibility and he doesnt feel obligated to pay the bills (he brought this up to me when handing me the money for the rent). he also said we ought to move home with out mothers (seperately) so he can save up, or for me to (unlawfully) get us into Section 8 (his income would be too high). i told him that if he wants to move home thats fine and i can let him off the hook and i will take care of myself! i cant make him chose


Asked by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Jul. 9, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • My dh has been in a band ever since I met him. When he joined his current band, I told him things will be different this time. Family and job come first, period. When he starts making the same amount of money from his band as his job, then we'll talk. We really haven't had a problem since I put my foot down. The one time he did, I packed the kids and we went to my parents for the night. He got the idea when he came home from his gig to an empty house.


    Answer by sokkamum at 2:38 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • My ex, my kids' dad, wanted to be a musician too! He never ever spent time with me or our kids & he still hasn't made a damn dime off it. I don't think thats a real job.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:28 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • it sounds like he needs his mommy, not a girlfriend. i'd kick him to the curb, let mommy wipe his butt when he poops!

    Answer by dullscissors at 11:33 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Uh, I know a single has custody of his two kids dad that is an AC repairmen...He also has a band that plays on various nights and weekends. They are becoming more and more popular around here. He has LOTS of time to perform and practice, yet, He has a good paying job and is taking care of his kids too.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:34 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I would say, until you start making money being a musician, then you can have a job, just like me! lol

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 11:31 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Even really talented people never make it in the music industry. Is he talented? Why can't he go play at bars or wedding to support his family?

    Answer by Syphon at 11:30 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • badOh man, I don't envy you.Honestly you might want to just walk away & let him go through "his phase", & see what your doing & what you want for a while.Otherwise your in for a long cold ride, with a child...I mean 2 it's even harder.I'd say things differently "IF" he wanted to keep his job, *&* be a responsible good dad still too, but that's not it,..right..I think you have to make a pro's & con's list & do whats best for you & your little ones.~ HUGS & LUCK to you


    Answer by Stefono at 11:45 AM on Jul. 9, 2010