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i am annoyed right now!! would you discuss custody court issues with your 5 year old?

as some of you may know i am going thru a custody battle for my 3 and 5 year old kids with my ex husband. he so far has lied lied lied and i have proved all his lies to be just that lies. he even lied about his drug use at which time he received a drug test and failed the test miserably. He has been calling our little gril age 5 on a regular basis now per the court order. after she got off the phone last night she told me unprompted "my daddy said the judge will decide" this made me angry! i have not told my kids about these issues. they knew nothing about the court and custody battle. they are 3 and 5 and i feel those are adult issues. i sent him a text message last night telling him it was not appropriate for him to be dicussing these issues with her. and that untill he opened his bug mouth she new nothing about it. she should be worried about princesses and butterflies and her barbies not what mommy and daddy are cont...


Asked by sweetestkitten at 11:30 AM on Jul. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,565 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I totally agree.. That is definitely not something that should be discussed with here at least until you have went to court and it has been decided and then all she should know is You will be spending X days with mommy and X days with daddy or however it goes.

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 11:33 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • No there is no way I would ever tell my children about this, it is inappropriate behaviour and in my opinion shows how immature your ex is.

    Answer by leah_rai at 11:32 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I wouldn't discuss it with them......they are too young to fully understand what is going on any way. If you can hear what he is saying take the phone from her and tell him that he can talk to her but he can not discuss the case with her then give the phone back, if it continues take the phone again and don't give it back.

    Answer by colethky at 11:37 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Honestly I think kids have the right to know the honest truth. If you are in a court battle then maybe you should explain it to her so she knows what is going on. You don't have to go into the details just tell her a judge is deciding who she should live with. As for him telling her he will take her places there is nothing you can do about it and if he is granted visitation you cannot stop him from seeing her and you may be in contempt of court if you do not allow it.

    Answer by carmadsmom at 11:37 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I have a ten year old, and am currently in a custody battle. While, I do not discuss any thing specific with him, I have told him, that his Dad and I cannot agree on where he should be most of the time, and that his visitation schedule might change. I told him either way, it was not something he should worry about, because either way it went he would be loved and cared for. That is the extent of what he knows about it.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:38 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • They are directly involved, yes they should know about it. I wouldn't tell them every gritty detail, but just that mommy and daddy are talking with the court to see how mommy and daddy can work out a visitation schedule.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:44 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • no we do not
    but the mother does all the time
    and has kids pass on message to their father
    so out of line and really puts kids in a bad place

    she should be worried about princesses and butterflies and her barbies = totally correct!

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:45 AM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Ok, I went from the stand point of it as a custody trial. Not as just some visitations on his part. that case, no, he should shut up. LOL

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:03 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I did too, I thought you meant it was still in the custody dispute not on visitation. On that matter then no they don't need to be informed of it if it is jsut visitation schedule not custody. With him failing a drug test, I would request supervised visits in a public place. Now as for what he says to her, you are allowed to listen to his phone calls and I would record them too as proof to the courts that he is playing mind games. Just remember whatever visitation they set up to follow so you don't get in trouble.

    Answer by carmadsmom at 12:38 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I think I wouldn't tell my ex anything since he will go to the kids just to try to hurt you. I would just tell my kids that yes we are going to court it's something adults do sometimes. Your ex is very immature and there is nothing you can do about it.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 2:25 PM on Jul. 9, 2010