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Ouch!

So last night I had been fighting with my 2yr old and my 3 yr old over cleaning up. Long story short they know how to and chose not too! This is an ongoing arguement in our house and it seems that my mom never fails to call when we are fighting. My 3 yr old never went through the terrible 2's and is making up for it now that my youngest has started going through them. So yes there is hectic-ness going on here. Yet last night was probably the worst ever! So my mom calls and I am crying and she ask what i am doing and when I said I was fighting with the girls she said when aren't you fighting with your girls. That only made me cry more and i said that I couldn't talk then and she said whatever and hung up on me. I know that i am not the best mom but I try and when you are with your kids 24/7 your are bound to bump heads from time to time but the fact that my mom says comments all the time is wearing my down. What should I do?

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l0v3myg1rl5

Asked by l0v3myg1rl5 at 12:22 PM on Jul. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (315 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • *hugs* been there!
    Hubby has to occasionally remind me that I'm arguing with a 4 year old and a 3 year old.

    Last time I fought over picking up, I put all the toys in my huge laundry bucket and it's in my room! they don't have those toys back yet.

    pick your battles sweetie!
    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 12:24 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Your mom of all people should know that sometimes being a mother is overwhelming. Tell her that if you she doesn't have anything positive to say to you that you would rather not talk to her at all.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 12:25 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Tell your mom that her comments are not helping but rather hurting. Tell her that you are a good mom who is trying very hard to teach your children to be decent and productive members of society when they grow up and if she can't come up with some ideas to help you rather than just cut you and your parenting skills down, then she shouldn't say anything at all.
    momoftwins240

    Answer by momoftwins240 at 12:25 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Don't answer the phone when she calls. Or don't answer the phone when you are in a hectic mess right then. I never do. If I am fighting with my girls or even with hubby I don't answer the phone even when it is a customer (we own two businesses). If she is saying things that are hurting you, tell her that what she says hurts and that you don't want to talk to her when she is going to say these mean things to you. Tell her that you are overwhelmed right now andyou don't need anymore stress on you than you already have! ((HUGS)) I'm sorry you are going through this hon! Hang in there! I know you are doubting you are a good mom, but I'll bet you really are a good mom. EVERY mom gets overwhelmed and when your babies are that little but still big enough you do a lot of butting heads! Mine are 8, 7, and 3 and I butt heads with them a lot too!
    My3LittleGirls

    Answer by My3LittleGirls at 12:26 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • i am right there with you! as a matter of fact my kids 3 and 5 missed the opening day of a movie they wanted to see because they did not clean their room. dont let her get to you. my step mom made me cry this past monday because my were fighting and she is constantly undermining my decisions about my kids. ignore it when they thik they know everything. because they dont they arent with your kids as much as you are and what worked for them with their kids might not be something that works for your kids. dont let it get ya down momma we do our best but sometimes kids just act up. my kids HATE cleaning up their toys and it is a constant battle in our house. other than that they are great kids. just a little on the piggy side....
    sweetestkitten

    Answer by sweetestkitten at 12:26 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • if they wont pick up their toys take them away for a while. you should not have to fight with a 2 and 3 yr old, just show them you are in charge and if they dont do what you ask of them there are consiquences. and if you are in the middle of that dont answer the phone. call her back later.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 12:29 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Thanks Ladies you all have helped more than you'll ever know!
    l0v3myg1rl5

    Comment by l0v3myg1rl5 (original poster) at 12:37 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I have the same problem, it doesnt matter what I do they make a 5 min chore take all day to do and they 8 and 9. Do not worry i was working alot and left it up to my ex thier for they were not picking up at age 2 and 3 I was on my days off. You live you learn. Keep up the good work and someday getting them to do their chorse will be easier. As for your mom i am sorry she was not more supportive, find another mom that you respect that you can raunt to when you are feeling stressed and can offer helpful advice.
    nurdreams

    Answer by nurdreams at 12:57 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • You sound like you are describing my 14 year old! And it was hard to get her to pick up her stuff when she was 3 too. Don't worry. The perils of parenthood. I never realized how hard it was until I had a child.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 1:07 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • My suggestion is to stop fighting with them. Put your foot down. "Jane, you have until 3:00 to do your chores or [enter punishment." And the same goes for your other child. If their chores are not done by 3:00 then their toy gets taken away, or they don't get their usual movie before bed, or whatever it is you decide is a good punishment. The best thing you can do for your family is to stop the yelling, stop the fighting, and find a positive alternative that is effective. Don't let them tell you what they're going to do. They're 2 and 3 years old, they need to obey. Period. If you want to find a way for them to feel like they have a choice, then maybe give them a list of chores and let them pick which ones they want to do. To avoid them always picking the easy ones, tell them the next day they have to pick two different ones. And same goes for the suggestion above, if the chores are not done then they get punished.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:08 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

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