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having a hard with my daughter. she has a boyfriend. she says that i do not trust her but on that age you can never trust them. what to so ?

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sandra121319

Asked by sandra121319 at 12:24 PM on Jul. 9, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • LOL She's a teen. They think they know it all. Just stand your ground. But what does she mean by you don't trust her? Does she want to do something and you said no?
    LyTe684

    Answer by LyTe684 at 12:26 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • You can't trust teenagers, I know I was one, a very sneaky one. Just stand your ground momma, she will be glad you did someday.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 12:26 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Oh and give her condoms or put her on birth control. I'm sure you are not ready to be a grandma as much as she isn't ready to be a mom.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 12:27 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Stay strong and keep to the rules you have set. The last thing she needs right now is a baby. My parents never eased up on the rules, and I'm glad they didn't. I have a good life because I didn't have to worry about what some of the other kids in my grade did.
    PhoenixFire

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 12:27 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • at that age, I agree. there is only so much trust you can give-but keep in mind that if she's 17 she could be very close to adult age.
    I've seen many situations (including me) where parents did all they could to keep my behavior completely controlled then as soon as I turned 18 they had the shock of realizing that there was little to nothing they could do.
    maybe if you let her know that you've actually been there. My mother acted like she lived like a nun until the day she got married.
    So I always blew off what she said, figuring that she didn't know anything since she'd never experienced much.
    I didn't find out until I was over 30 that it was all lies, that's she'd lived more of a life than she ever let me know about.

    do you think it would help if she knew about some of the things you faced at that age? that you probably made mistakes too?
    Just know how I felt about it all.
    good luck!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:28 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • don't agree with the idea of putting her on birth control pills- often the girls are insulted and don't want to take the pills.
    but I would give her a stash on condoms and make sure she knows how to use them- so many adult women don't!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:30 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Just my opinion based on experience... Please make sure that you don't alienate yourself more from her life by making a big deal about everything that she chooses to do. Unfortunately she is going to make mistakes in life and you should always let her know that you are there for her when she falls. If you can have a conversation casually with her about an experience from your past that addresses the issues that you're concerned about and how you learned from your experience she may be more likely to listen to what you have to say! Absolutely allow her some freedom, but make sure she is well aware of what it takes to care for a baby in case she gets that idea into her head! (HAVE HER BABYSIT A FUSSY BABY, preferably one that spits up alot haha) You can't stop her from kissing, and unfortunately you can't stop her from having sex either, she'll find a way. Educate her and let her know you'd be disappointed. GOOD LUCK!
    momofkearra

    Answer by momofkearra at 12:33 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Trust her at what??? You should be a little more specfic. First rule in our home, is NO members of the opposite sex allowed in the childrens room. Also if my son wanted his GF to hang out here, that's fine but there will be an adult around. Or the youngest sister that we call the chastity police
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:42 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • "But at that age you can never trust them" ... What kind of crap is that? If you set out to believe that you can't trust your daughter before she gives you the chance to prove otherwise, then you're bound to fail. And Fail Hard. If she has proven that she can't be trusted that's one thing, but if she's never proven she can't be trusted then maybe you should ease up a bit. Have a little faith in your daughter for her to make the right choice.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:05 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I know what kind of teen I was but that doesn't mean I don't trust my boys. I may not trust their friends, but I trust my boys to make good decisions and if they don't they will know its back to the beginning with building that trust to allow them their freedoms again. You shouldn't go through the teen years sheltering or holding back on letting her go without independence, however that being said there is a lot more to relationships than sex and she needs to know these things. She needs to know how to protect herself from not only pregnancy, but STD's..you don't want her coming home with herpes or ? anymore than you want her to have a baby I'm sure. She needs to understand your concerns and why you feel the way you do. She also needs understand if you trust her or not, and sharing stories to relay the message is a good way to do this. My boys know about my history, it makes them want to be better and make good choices
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:24 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

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