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Am I in the wrong??

Okay my husband works 12 hr shifts, but he only works three days one week four days the next week. I dont work but I am a full time student. I stay up with our daughter ALL night and take care of her all day as well. My husband on the other hand messes around online and plays video games, while I'm feeding the baby. I ask him once a week to get up with the baby all night so I can get some sleep. But everyone in his family including him act like I shouldnt ask him to do that.
Since I am the wife am I suppose to take care of the kids all day??


Asked by hayliesmommy20 at 3:39 PM on Jul. 9, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 5 (94 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • Sounds like you could use a break!! I totally understand your frustration (sleep depravation is tough!!) but it sounds like he and his family have taken a defensive stance - "we're not wrong, you are wrong for asking." I'd suggest that instead of asking "who is right?", maybe talk to him and other family members to explain why you need a break and see if someone can help.

    The immediate problem is that you need someone (anyone) to lend a hand with the baby. If you can find a way to get some help, then once you are more well-rested (hah! I know... so tired...) then you can talk to your husband to understand his reasons, and find ways he can help out more. Little tip: try to start sentences with "I feel that you are..." rather than "You are..." It focuses on the way his behavior is coming across, not on his character.

    Patience... No one ever said marriage or motherhood is easy. They both require so much patience! Good luck!!

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 8:27 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Haylie, you ARE NOT wrong. And here's what you do...stop doing HIS STUFF. He can do his own laundry and cook hsi own meals if he cannot be bothered to helpo with the kids. And if he asks why the hell he marreid ytou, you can tell him YOU are thinking the SAME THING right now, because he's a lousy partner.

    As to My3...I've known families who divide things the way she advocates. They ended up dividing the entire household AND the marriage. That make have worked at the time of Ephesians...but women are smarter than that now.

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:30 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • No, he should help. If he has time to goof off he should be helping. That is what being a parent is all about. It is a full time job, not a when ever I feel like option.

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 3:40 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I really hope My3LittleGirls is being sarcastic...

    He helped make your child, he should help take care of her. Just because he brings home the paycheck doesn't mean he gets to get out of being a father.

    Answer by Wheepingchree at 3:46 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • He should help, he is the other parent after all.

    Answer by Christine0813 at 3:41 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • That's an old fashioned way of life IMO...woman just take care of kids and man do nada to help
    My SO gets up with my son 50% of the time. If he is hungry he brings him in the bed so I can nurse him and not have to wake up all of the way. You hubby should help out.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 3:41 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • A family that would support something like that is crap. Seriously....we should be helping EACH OTHER out when we can.

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 3:43 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • It takes 2 to tango. It takes 2 to raise a child. I would be upset about that, he should be helping you.

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 3:45 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Honestly I'd make his lazy ass wake up and get up every time you had to, or just keep him up the whole time you're awake. Y? because then he can see how it feels.


    Make his ass sleep in the car

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • When I had my son, I wasn't working, but both of us got up with our son every single time he woke up in the middle of the night. When I went back to work, we took turns on the weekends letting the other sleep in. We had our 2nd baby back in February, and DH was up with me everytime even though I was on maternity leave and he had to go to work and get our son to the babysitter's.

    Marriage is a partnership and that includes the parenting. I think it's just plain rude that your husband won't help out to give you a break. If he only works 3 days a week, then that's 4 possible nights he could take the midnight feedings so you get some rest.

    Answer by Journey311 at 9:45 PM on Jul. 9, 2010