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Would you provide a gift?

My closest adult friend's son and girlfriend had a baby a couple years back. Best friend asked me over to meet the baby. I gave the girlfriend (baby's mother) a card and generous gift card. I watched her pull the gift card out and stuff it in her wallet, and toss the card aside. Okay, I guess, but I never received a thank you note and I'd bet the father never heard about the gift. Fast forward a year and a half. They get married. Provide generous gift. Almost a year later, no thank you note received. Now, new baby on the way....should I get another gift or wait for my thank you notes to get here?

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Whimsee

Asked by Whimsee at 4:20 PM on Jul. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,029 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Maybe just a card? :)
    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 4:21 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I don't think I would bother. It's a shame, but apparently nobody ever taught them about appreciation for the things for which others have been willing to sacrifice. You gave to them twice and they could not even say thank you, so I don't think you are required to do anything at all this time. If you ever have the chance, I think it would be fine to tell them why you chose to ignore this occasion. To reward rudeness is to encourage it, and I don't think I would want to be a party to that.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:25 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I would just get a card. Did she even say Thank You for the gift you gave before?
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 4:25 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I like bumblebeestingu of just a card. They may have forgotten to say thank you because your a friend of the family.
    SolaraDarkset

    Answer by SolaraDarkset at 4:27 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I would say no! They obviously aren't grateful for what people are giving them. I wouldn't even bother with a card. It's really not that hard to sit down and write on a paper that you are thankful for what someone did for them.
    trelmix

    Answer by trelmix at 4:27 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I'd send a gift. But that's just how I am. I would think it was rude that no thank you came - but that's how some are. Maybe don't give this baby such a big gift?
    Katt709

    Answer by Katt709 at 4:27 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I would send a gift. I give gifts to be nice to people, not to get recognition with thank you cards. As long as the baby gets use out of it, that's all that matters. If you worry about it being used on the baby, get a gift card to like BabiesRUs so that all that can bought is baby stuff.
    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 4:32 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • If giving a gift is conditional, it's really not a gift. A thank you card is traditional and IMHO, proper etiquette. I think rudeness and simply not liking a person is a good reason NOT to get a gift though. If she didn't even say thank you when you were present (for the gift card thing), I'd be thinking that she is a rude person and would not feel any obligation to send future gifts simply because I don't like rude people. Also, I'd talk to your best friend! I'd ask about it. Because you're probably not the only person who is a bit miffed.
    BuddyRoo

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 4:36 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • if you skip the gift then be prepared to be judged for it.
    I would just give a card if you don't want to give a gift.
    you can put together a basket for not much- like lotion to pamper and that sort of thing.

    will skipping a gift really make you feel better?

    I give thanks for what I get, but back when I was a kid, I remember getting a package from my dad's relatives that I opened before my mom saw it. It was a bunch of cards, like thank you notes and all that- a 'hint'
    this was from a relative that as far as I remembered, I hadn't heard from in years.

    reason: turned out they were sending gifts that my mom could call and thank them for, but I never knew about them because my mom didn't want me to know that they were spelling my name wrong!
    and she&my grandma told them, but it just kept happening.
    turned out that was the last of it because my grandma told them off for being 'a smart a*s'
    her words!

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:41 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • with my best friend she never gives a thank you and i never give one. i guess with us its implied. but its also not a big deal when i don't do gifts. when i do its IS gift cards and we oh and aww over what she gets the boys with it lol. but getting another one is up to u. how much of friends are you? maybe just a card.
    Manda_Evans

    Answer by Manda_Evans at 4:47 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

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