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Is it cheating IF?

Me and my boyfriend were at a party and he doesnt handle his boze well he fell asleep and was in a bedroom.When i walked in to find him, our friend was having sex with him but he was sound asleep. I dont know whether to be mad at him or her. I dont know whether to stay or not we have two kids togahter and he has never done anything like this before. Can men have sex while sound asleep..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Jun. 28, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (28)
  • I find it hard to believe, lol. How's he gonna have a hard-on if he's passed out? Anyways, I'd be mad at both. Him for letting the situation get that out of control, and her for doing the obvious.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 3:45 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • If it wasn't okay by him he was just raped. Your body can respond to physical stimulas when asleep. If it happened to a girl would you blame her? It sounds like you both need new friends and a safer place to drink. Get councling for both of you.
    h3art2h0m3

    Answer by h3art2h0m3 at 3:46 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • Yes it's cheating! He knew what he was doing. It couldn't haven happened if he truly sleeping. Also, your friend is not your friend, because a friend wouldn't do that to another friend. I would question whether or not this has happened before. Kowing you were in the same house they didn't do a good job of hiding it.
    Olivia-Jade

    Answer by Olivia-Jade at 3:49 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • he was raped. if he was a passed out girl the world would be screaming rape but no one sees this a rape for a guy. He needs to file charges. He's body can respond while passed out/sleeping. It's NOT cheating. He needs to get help. You shouldn't have sex with him until he gets tested, you don't know what she has.
    NoahsMomma418

    Answer by NoahsMomma418 at 4:09 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • It's possible he was out for the count. If really intoxicated, a person may not react to painful stimuli much less sexual simuli. The erection is an involuntary response so, it is possible she stimulated him and he didn't participate or know about it. He was raped basically. Take it from there.
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 4:10 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • The answer is YES, men can be erect while asleep. Men can be raped too. I would definately ditch the friend. I would also say you don't have to leave your man but make it well known to him that this situation can occur if he is drinking. He obviously doesn't know how much is too much and thats a big problem for him. I would let him know that drinking has to be out of the picture or make it to where one of you has to stay sober if you go out together drinking.
    HeatherTurner

    Answer by HeatherTurner at 4:20 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • Sounds like she raped him to me. You can be a guy passed out with a hard on. If that is the case she raped him and he is..... innocent.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 4:29 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • Her's was a willing conscious act. His probably wasn't. If it were a man who found a women too drunk to be able to react to sexual advances he would be charged with a crime. She should be charged with sexual assault imo but to answer your question, your friend is responsible for what she did. If you are going to be angry then be angry with her and don't leave him alone in a bedroom next time he passes out with others around.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:59 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • honey, first of all he needs to rethink his drinking habits. if drinking gets him into a situation like that there is a serious problem going on! second, if he was truly passed out then the blame lies with that women and charges should be pressed because if it was the other way around everyone would be telling her to press charges! and third, maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship. god has so much in store for you and maybe this happend to get both your guys attention. both of you deserve a better life than one of drinkling and passing out take this as an oppurtunity to change your life for the better! keep your head up and know that i will pray that god reveals his plan to you.
    4hisglory_girl

    Answer by 4hisglory_girl at 5:02 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • I would place the blame on the woman. Men can get erections while sound asleep. My guy does all the time.
    MissMaranda

    Answer by MissMaranda at 5:08 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

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