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4 Bumps

Personal Space vs Parents Right-to-Know

Where is the line between ensuring your child's safety online and intruding into your teen's personal space? Should you force your teen to share their online passwords?

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-pw-covenant-

Asked by -pw-covenant- at 9:04 PM on Jul. 9, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 6 (122 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • With all the crazies, stalkers and pedophiles on the internet, my kids will get privacy and personal space when they move out on their own. Even a kid surfing innocently can stumble upon something sinister.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 9:06 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I believe you either trust your kids or you don't. If you are snooping through their stuff or insisting on their passwords you aren't trusting them and you're ruining any relationship you may have or will have in the future.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 9:06 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • Yes.

    The predators online are just as dangerous as out in real time. Maybe even more so, it's easier for them to hide.
    I look at it this way, they have to let you know where they are going and how they can be reached if they are out, then they must do the same online.
    NikkiMomof2grls

    Answer by NikkiMomof2grls at 9:06 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • But as far as checking up on them...I wouldn't do it unless I saw warning signs or if there were other valid reasons for it.
    NikkiMomof2grls

    Answer by NikkiMomof2grls at 9:09 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • It has nothing to do with whether or not you trust your kids. It has to do with the predators that are out there on the internet just waiting for them. If you don't think they're out there and think that they can't find your kids, you are very naive. Predators are very good at deceiving unsuspecting teenagers who think they are talking to someone their own age, and it's really some disgusting 50 year old pervert.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 9:12 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I think the pressure for teens to be cool and hip now these days is way out of control, I have seen things teens post on my space and facebook that's just ridiculous and there parents have no idea, all there parents know is that they are good church going kids, but they have no clue about what life they lead online. So to answer your question, the only time my kids will use the computer is if they need it for school and it will be in my presence.

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 9:19 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I think a teen shouldn't expect any level of real privacy online. Now a good way to do that is putting the computer in a well populated area. Talk to your child to ensure they know what you expect as far as their behavior online. Set up the computer with you as the administrator. Make it a house rule that all passwords are posted on the wall next to the computer. If you child wants to be sneaky there really is little you can do. Having an open relationship with your child will be your best defence. Listen to your child, the less you say the more they will say. My mom used to make me go grocery shopping with her, I couldn't escape. So I talked and she listened.  Come up with solutions for issues together.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 9:47 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • my son is only 10 so he hasnt hit his teens yet, but I have a social worker and have worked exclusively with troubled teens in group homes. These are the sneakiest, most trouble seeking kids I know and yet i still knew most everything they did online. The thing is i had a very open relationship with these teens and did not judge them or try to shelter them, we discussed things as they came up. Of course, like a parent, i had the final say....but i really did consider their side and usually met in the middle as to what was appropriate content. I do the same with my son when he's on the internet, watching movies, playing video games, etc. I let him watch rated R movies as long as theres not too much sex and i let him play grand theft auto because it allows us to discuss drugs, sex, violence and crime and the difference between reality and games. Its more important to be aware and advise/educate than to control.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 11:06 PM on Jul. 9, 2010

  • I have all passwords, but as of yet have never gone into their stuff. If I have a reason to, I will, but not before that. While there are a lot of crazies out there, I feel that they should have some space and feel secure in it.

    Parents who snoop regularly are telling their children that they don't trust them to make the right choices. Which doesn't say a lot about us as parents if we can't raise kids were we aren't invading everything they do.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 12:06 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • I have my son's passwords and bluetoothed his contacts to my phone. i also have gps on his phone. i do not invade his privacy and i have not yet looked into his stuff. but he is soo into xbox live and these kids are his friends on facebook. if he goes missing i am damn sure going to know where to start looking. i just had a friend whose daughter ran away..she works for city hall. she had not a clue where or who her child was at or with. she was gone over a week. we posted fliers, did facebook post and reposts, and called the news and had it on there a couple of times..she was found in memphis, being tricked out by some men in a seedy hotel. she is 15..no matter how many therapists, counselors, or talks --you can never take that back.. she will forever be scarred...i refuse to be that mother sitter there looking at the police with not a freaking clue as to what my kid has been doing or with whom he has been with..
    candy001

    Answer by candy001 at 3:33 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

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