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3 Bumps

Should I allow her to come up too?

my grandma has custody of my 13 yr old bro cause my mom obviously messed up big time, well im completely on my grandma's side. my brother is coming to see me in 1 week and i got a call yesterday from my aunt(Mom's sis) who is coming up as well saying my gma told my mom she could come up here with them the thing is my mom knows she is not allowed on my property... My mom and i have NO relationship, she was really abusive physically and mentally growing up and still tries to make everyone but herself look bad! She wants to come see my son and IMO having grandkids is a privilege and she don't deserve it! she has only seen my son 2 times and i really don't want her around my 2 yr old. my question is should i let her come up and see him or tell her she can't come which will def hurt her and keep in mind she is VERY DRAMATIC and u can't believe a word out of her mouth! what should i do?

 
TatymMommi

Asked by TatymMommi at 10:41 AM on Jul. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (934 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • she's toxic. she's poison. Would you let your child play with poison? No.

    Now, if she goes to therapy, changes her ways, owns up to what she did with you, well, then, forgiveness is very healing. It sounds like you are hanging on to a lot of anger, which you will need to work through, but for now, no.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:47 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Personally, I would stick to the original plan and not allow her on the property. Maybe, if you feel up to it, meet her somewhere, but don't allow her in your house. That way, if things get out of hand or make you uncomfortable, you can leave and not have to worry about kicking her out.
    fallnangel93

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 10:44 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • No, hold your ground.
    kjbennett26

    Answer by kjbennett26 at 10:43 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • I agree with a privous poster. If you want to give her the chance , meet her somewhere so you have the control to leave- & wont have to be the one to kick her out!
    pinkcicle709

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 11:02 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Your brother was removed from her home for a reason. Stick to your guns and let the state deal with visitation for her. Or like a pp said maybe meet her somewhere so you can leave easily if she acts up. Good luck and I hope you have a nice time with your little brother.
    mommypip

    Answer by mommypip at 11:03 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • That is hard! I believe in 2nd. 3rd and more chances...but there is also a time when enough is enough and people are not going to change...I hope you figure it out, I really don't know what to say...
    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 10:44 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • No. I wouldn't allow her back in.
    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 10:47 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Stick to your guns, stand firm. Now may not be the time.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 10:48 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • I agree with fallnangel93. That would be the best way to do it with out really feeling guilty about it.
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 10:50 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Ok, this is going to sound harsh, but I want you to do something for me. Close your eyes and imagine that you just got a phone call from someone saying your mom was in a car crash and she didn't make it through. Ya'll have never made up, and never mended fences. How do you feel? If the answer is that you don;t feel anything, then stand your ground and don't let her come. If you feel regret while imagining this scenario, then you should let her come and try to start over. I'm not saying there's a right or wrong answer, but sometimes when we hold grudges, it hurts us much more than anything and it ends up poisoning us. GL!
    renea20

    Answer by renea20 at 11:03 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

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