Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

I hate when people make me feel bad about things my husband has done..

I was talking to a friend I havent seen or talked to in long time. We were talking about our kitchens ( we are both fixing them up ) .. and I said I was upset because my husband wouldnt let me paint the cabinets ( which are a country cream color) ... well so he basically did it all and when he was done it was very noticable that he had not only dripped paint EVERYWHERE but he also "touched up" and finished on side of them in a different color ( grey) ... I mean it looks very badly ... and he said he isnt going to fix it because he doesnt want to take the hinges off again ( which at first he didnt until he got cream paint them too) and wont buy new paint ( for me to do it) . Anyways she told me I was being selfish and I should just tell him thank you and act like I love it because he worked so hard ( he literally worked on it for 35 min.) I hate how she thinks ( and made me feel) like I am a bad wife because I didnt praise him.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Jul. 10, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (11)
  • Can you buy the paint and fix them yourself? That's what I would do. But ya, I don't think you should praise him for half butt doing something. If he really put effort into that would be a different story.

    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 10:50 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Don't tell your friends....I never discuss my personal feelings or details such as you describe because it makes life so much easier!!! She might not be a good friend....get what I am saying? I would NEVER tell someone that they are selfish --it was rude.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 10:51 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • I would go buy the paint and do it myself.
    She doesn't seem like a good friend if she's telling you that.
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 10:55 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • call and tell a freind who will agree with you, laugh with you about both of your husbands "help" around the house, dig on their flaws and just let you vent

    some friends can joke about these things, some can not

    it is not her being insensitive, maybe it is just the way she is

    I can feel your painting problems, my husband is very helpful too!=lol
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:01 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • So take house paint and paint one car door on his car and tell him he should thank you because you took the time to fix up his car. Same type of thing right. Some guys are just lazy and just don't get it.
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 11:03 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • 1. a friend who would say that to you when you are obviously venting is not really a friend. 2. as a pp said, call a friend who will "bitch" with ya, not at ya lol. and 3. yes i have the half-ass job hubby too and HE then thinks I am supposed to kiss his feet. so now i just do it myself to begin with, when he isnt around....good luck, and another trick? sandpaper....use different grades ont he paint to tone it down in spots or completely remove it in others. then go to a craft store or walmart and buy some 1 hobby paint and a nice stencil. the stencil design will distract form the paint job maybe....
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:07 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • what do you mean he 'won't buy new paint' for you to do it?? go buy the dang paint and redo it! a can of paint isn't that expensive, all you need is the right color formula, which should be on the old paint can, if you haven't thrown it away.
    and next time, when you know he's just gonna b**** about doing something so simple (yes, time-consuming if done correctly, but simple, still), do it yourself. then call your better friend and brag about your job-done-right.
    you could still clean up the mess by using a little paint-thinner on the flooring/hinges.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 11:09 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Your friend does not sound like a very good friend. A true friend would listen to you rant and then give sympathy or give ideas on how to make it better, or offer to come over and help you fix it!
    I certainly would not praise a half-assed paint job like you describe, if my hubs did that and I did not like how it turned out I would wait a few days and then I would go buy my own paint and screwdriver, take the cabinets off myself and paint it myself. Then if HE does not like it too bad, I would say "well if you did it right the first time, I would not have to waste my time fixing it".
    Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:17 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • 1) A friend does NOT just give you lip service and say what you want to hear, but she should know you well enough to say it in a non-offencive way!
    2) You should only discuss your husband w/ friends that love him as much as you do, and wants what's best for him aswell. And then only in words you would use if he was sitting right next to you guys. Other than that you shold keep it between you and him...or just to yourself. IMO anyway.
    3) You were not being selfish....he did a shotty job, and should not be praised for it. (honesty said in LOVE is what he deserves.)

    Hope it gets fixed, 'cause that would get on my nerves, too :)

    Nynne

    Answer by Nynne at 11:18 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • what?! This is ridiculous...obviously yes he did this but why would you lie? My husband does things all the time I may not like them but I do say thank you and then sometimes end up fixing them myself and he knows it. It's not that I'm ungrateful cause I appreciate him doing it but at the same time mu husband is considerate enough to ask me what I think and I'm honest enough to tell him the truth if I really don't like it, he'll end up telling me to do it myself. which I'll do. we use to have fights about this but to avoid this we have a plan and talk about it before he actually does it so that we're both happy. I think your friend is taking it to literal. Sure we should appreciate our men and what they do, but hey if it's a crappy job it's a crappy job.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 11:19 AM on Jul. 10, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN