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4 Bumps

daughters pregancy

my 19 year old is pregnant with her second child .the father wants her to give the baby up for adoption,he already has a 5 year. he says he cant afford to take care of 2 kids. but i know better he makes 18 dollars an hr. has no real bills. buys his 5 year old really expensive toys like 100 for a toy story doll. i realize thats his daughter and he already sends child support to the mom. my daughter works part time ,goes to a community college , and takes care of her 3 year old her self. she really wants to keep the baby. i told her id help her. shes really torn up about this. i really cant stand the guy. hes also 8 years older than her. i tried to warn her about him. i think he finally realizes hes gonna be a dad again. he also says all the right things but wont commit.

Answer Question

Asked by stressedoutgran at 1:03 PM on Jul. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,324 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I'm sorry, that's really gotta be rough on her, but I just wanted to say how nice it is to hear a mom that is supportive of her daughter and will encourage and help her even though it's a tough time and you don't agree with all her choices. WTG mom.

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 1:08 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • I say your an awsome mom!!!! Tell her to keep that baby if she wants it dont let no man make desions for her!!!! As for the guy tell him to man up, if he dident want her to be preg he should have never slept with her with out protection! I say your takeing this well momma!!!

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 1:08 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Sounds like she will have a good income if she gets through school. Then her money worries might ease a bit. Then she could be self sufficient if she had to be too. Does she still want to be with him? Help her out. She could suffer tremendous guilt if she has an abortion and then down the road had the means to keep the baby. Sometimes we have to learn for ourselves, Mom. Wish I had listened to my mom at 19. I am so glad she has you in her life. Best wishes.

    Answer by elizabr at 1:09 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Let her know it is HER decision and that he should not be pressuring her. Good for you for offering to help her.

    Answer by layh41407 at 1:09 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • You tell your daughter if she wants to keep her baby than she should do it. Dont let some guy tell her to give it up! i too got pregnant at 19, but unlike your daughter, i didnt not have my mother around for support. Having a baby is the hardest, best thing I have ever done, and already having a 3 year old, your daughter knows that. If that guy doesnt want to take responsibility, screw him, take him to court and make him pay child support. Just remember one thing, and remind your daughter also.... YOU CAN NOT GET PREGNANT BY YOURSELF!!! Make a decision you can live with. Good luck!

    Answer by LuvingMyBoyz at 1:10 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Well you should tell the dad that he made the adult decision to have sex, so he should take the responsability to take care of his children, and if your daughter wants to keep HER baby, she should, and let her know it is her decision, and that you will help any way you can. Good luck.

    Answer by newmom092009 at 1:13 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • how about the option of him signing away his rights? and of course dumping him for good

    Answer by gonefishin at 1:15 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • keep supporting her. she should keep her baby. he can eat shit! if he did not want any kids then he should know. lol no one should be trying to tell her to give her child away. that is her baby. just keep being there for her, keep supporting her feelings and stuff. tell her all the good things about being a mom and working hard for what you have. good luck, you are doing great!!

    Answer by Preggydyke at 1:17 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Your daughter is very lucky to have you, and it sounds like she is heading down the right path in trying to make a life for herself and her first born. She will be fine keeping the baby. I wish you all the best of luck. Guys!!!!!

    Answer by QandA at 1:19 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Kudos to you for wanting to help her out. Your daughter and this male have to take responsibility for their actions whether they like it or not. Whats done is done and now instead of thinking about the past-they both need to focus on what they need to do for the future. If he didn't want another kid then he shouldn't have been having sex. She doesn't have to stay with him but they both need to provide for this baby. I hope that they do what they need to do and put their wants to the side.

    Answer by trelmix at 1:27 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

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