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anyone else have a mother who likes to be in denial?

has anyone heard this from their mother when they asked questions about past happenings?
things like: 'mom? when are we going to see uncle Bill again'
'what are you talking about? you've never had uncle Bill?'
turns out he had died.
'mom? when are you going to give (my little sister) bike rides like you did me?'
'you must have been dreaming about that- we never did that. '
then I got in trouble for showing the child seat on her bike to my sister.
apparently mom was out of shape and couldn't do that anymore.

she is now denying the possibility of a assault that happened right in front of her. In spite of medical records and other documentation.
claiming that there has to be another explanation- couldn't have happened like that.
other relatives did this too- if something bad happened then it was just swept under the rug and everyone denied it.
anyone else run into this? like to hear that I'm not the only one


Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Jul. 10, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • My mother lives in denial everyday and i have finally learned to move on.. you can not make people see the truth wether it's right on front of them and there is hard core proof.. She drank everyday and continues to do so.. denies abusing me and my other siblings.. The best thing you can do is move on and seek counseling if need be.. You can't choose your family but you can choose to remove toxic people and situations.

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 3:04 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • This is betrayal. Yes, I've been through this before too. Even as of today, I still ask my mother why she denied things (or just sat there with a stupid look on her face) when things were very evident. Her answer was that if she were to stand up for me, she was frightened that her then husband would leave her. Meaning, she was more concerned about having a man in the house and defend his cause than to defend mine (her daughter). She said that she was too scared to be on her own with kids.

    My mother and step-loser were too concerned with child support (that they spent on themselves). People did notice, but back then, the law sided with the criminal too much for people to intervene. It's hard being a kid in this hyper-divorce society.

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 2:25 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • I've seen it happen. Something that people don't want to remember, so they deny it.

    Answer by Bmat at 2:18 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Sorry. I've never heard of this. Only in alcoholism... how old is your mom and any history of alcoholics in the family?


    Answer by smokisses at 2:18 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • ya. my mom does stuff like that but never anything extreme. but the "there must be another explination" comes out of her mouth a lot.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 2:24 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • She denies that you had an uncle just because he died. That's a little out there. Sorry you are going through this. I've never known anyone that has done this to this extreme.

    Answer by Cindy18 at 2:27 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • yeah my mom does it and my grandma did it, at times i find myself doing it at times.

    Answer by SisterPact4Evr at 2:53 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Yes, my Mother denied for years that I was ever raped. As an adult, she tried to explain her immaturity, lack of both wisdom and experience. My Father ran off and started a new family. I tried hard to forgive but never forgot. Now, in my middle ages,my Father's dead and the last coherent my Mother said to me was "please forgive me." She is in the middle stages of "vascular dementia." I encourage you to say whatever you feel the need to say, begin the forgiveness process so that your own healing can be complete before she's dead. Avoiding a toxic situation doesn't cure the rot it's left behind in your soul.

    Answer by Ewadun at 3:24 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Your mom is not only in denial but needs professional help.

    Answer by older at 3:39 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • My inlaws were pretty much on denial but they didn't drink. They just couldn't admit there were any bad things in their families or admit their kids needed discipline and weren't perfect. They were so naive and thought their lives would actually be rewarded if they didn't miss a sunday at church. @@ So in denial.

    Answer by gertie41 at 6:06 PM on Jul. 10, 2010