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9 Bumps

How to get self-confidence when continously being emotionally beaten?

I'm not talking about a husband, but from only family, my sister and mother. I know what's wrong with me (maxillofacial lower face), and I don't have the enormous amount of money to get it fixed. Can't get insurance to cover. The problem, my sister and mother are constantly reminding me to fix this problem that I have had since a small child (I am now 42 years old). How do I move on?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Jul. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • You TELL them that if they don't stop, you will not be seeing or talking to them. They may be your sister and mother but they have NO right to put you down, especially about something you can't fix at this time. Another thing is, ask your mother why she didn't get it fixed when you were a child.

    Listen to hubby and all those that think you are perfect the way you are. It really is time to distance yourself from them until they can be nice. Sometimes, family is the worse in our lives.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:44 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • If you had that when you were a child why didnt your mom fix it? and shame on them for treating you badly, you are beautiful the way you are!!!!
    megan1089

    Answer by megan1089 at 2:47 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • ignore em and tell em your an adult now and can take care of yourself
    SisterPact4Evr

    Answer by SisterPact4Evr at 2:48 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • They should be supportive knowing your condition. If they want you to fix it so bad why don't they pay for it. Wearing something sexy always helps me feel better. I would spend less time with them until they understand.
    Cassandre

    Answer by Cassandre at 2:49 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Well I would say the first thing to do is stop letting someone else opinion put a value on YOUR self worth. You've got to know that when they remind you of an issue, it is really them admitting they cannot mature further thoughts past the matter and act in love. Talk to them, let them know how you feel. Communication is a must. Most family members will understand and lovingly leave the situation alone. Even if this is not the case with your family, you always remember to know yourself better than anyone else. If you know who you are, then no one can tell you what you are not.

    sugahmamma

    Answer by sugahmamma at 2:56 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • Tell them to mind their own business and you do not need to fix your face for their sake, and you will do it if and when you are ready.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:09 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • I would tell them you want them to stop, and if they don't, then you need to decide what is the best thing to do.
    the best thing for you, not for the rest of the family
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 4:03 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • I would tell them I didn't want to hear it again. The minute they open their mouths, get up and leave. Go somewhere else, and don't come back. You don't have to listen to that kind of talk nor should you. Tell them if they can't talk about something else, you are gone.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:09 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • They sound pretty toxic. Are you sure that you want them around your child?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:19 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • have you said to them
    " yeah i got it you can stop now and unless you have the money for me to fix my problems then i don't want to hear about it again"
    do they have email accounts?
    send them emails and tell them you have had enough with their lack of support and until they can play nice and be supportive then you don't want to talk to them.

    I do know how it is I have arthritis in my feet and hands and before my mom died she would look at my deforming hands and feet and tell me about how the future will be so tough and hard, I will be in a wheel chair, etc., etc. and I would stand up for myself and she would just say, "well it's the truth"
    togo90210

    Answer by togo90210 at 6:26 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

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