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what do i do about my son?

when i went to court the judge started visitation with his father, i thought it was way too early, but the judge said that it dosent matter, i told the judge it might affect the baby in the long run but he just blew me aside. well now whenever my baby comes home he seems scared i know he is very young but its like he knows, i cant leave him for too long cause then he starts to panic, and he has terrible night frights and until i wake him up and he sees me there he wont stop, what should i do? i am at a loss, his cries dont annoy me but i just feel bad that i cant do anything to help.

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Asked by hannah4460 at 4:21 PM on Jun. 28, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (5)
  • That's got to be so hard on a small child to be carted back and forth out of their comfort zone. How old is he? Try talking to the father to see how the baby acts when he's with him and see if there is anything you guys can do together to ease the transition.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 4:42 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • It takes time for them to adjust but they will and do.

    Answer by ilovemybananer at 11:42 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • that is not normal behavior. no way. try getting the ex to come and visit with the baby when you need to run out or something for a while so he can get used to him in his comfort zone. and i hate to say it but watch for signs of abuse and negelct. we had a similar situation in our family and it was abuse going on. and remember that your visitation and all that can be worked around if you both are willing to compromise and cooperate for the best interest of the child.
    i knwo that your gut reaction is to stop the visits since they seem to be causing the problems but if he doesn't form a bond with his father when he's young its gonna be hard for them to relate when he is want him to be safe and secure, but having an active father is important too.

    Answer by princezzmommie at 12:18 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • The behavior is normal because at this stage your child is finding a comfort zone and every time he goes to your ex's it is all new smells and sights to learn. They do adjust my psychology teacher told us a story about her friend who had her child stay at her moms half every other weeks it was hard at first but the child adjusted and this was from birth on.

    Answer by ilovemybananer at 10:02 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I know it's hard, but it will become his way of life. It will, because it has to. Both places should be comfort zones, but until he gets used to that, he's going to naturally be confused.
    He is lucky though. I know fathers who could care less about seeing their children. I also know a mother like that, too.

    Answer by Mangy_Momma at 12:52 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

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