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3 Bumps

HELP?!! Loser 26yr old Brother wants to move back home.......

My Brother who is 26 and is currently living in Vegas. He has lived out there for a year but previously he lived with us. He now has his 2nd ex gf pregnant, a recovering alcholic and is wanting to move back to FL to live with us. He also has a Daughter from his previous marriage that he never sees or sends a card to.

In the past he was drunk, had women "stay" for the night(sex), didn't pay a dime, ate all our food and made a mess. My mother also took money (on my credit card) to help him out of jail and to help him to pay his car. My mother,hubby and DD all live in a 2bedroom apartment. We don't make enough now to get our own place....DH works FT and I work PT. She told me this morning I don't know what you(me) and your DH are gonna do but he is moving back and now he isn't. I get totallllllll attitude from her but I can't go off on her because she is who watches my DD! I would love any advice.....No bashing!


Asked by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Jul. 10, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • So I'm guessing your mother works when she's not watching your daughter? I guess I'm trying to figure out how you & your DH can't get your own place because it sounds like that's what you need. I'm not a huge advocate of PA,but if that's what you need to do to get you & DH on your own, then do it because it sounds like your brother and mother are not healthy influences on your daughter.

    Also, whose name is on the lease? A lot of rental communities only allow a certain number of people to live there, and if your brother's not on the lease and he moves in, there could be legal issues down the road if he trashes the place. If your mom isn't on the lease, I would tell her that it's not her decision on who lives there. I know she watches your daughter, but sometimes you have to stand up for what's right for your family.

    Answer by Journey311 at 8:23 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • I think you guys REALLY need your own place. Let your mom take care of your dead beat brother.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 9:30 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • well if it's not your place you don't have a ton of say over it but I would sure even be looking into government housing if possible or find somewhere else to live that wont be bad environment for your children (they are first) - GL hun!

    Answer by hotrodmomma at 8:19 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • I would just tell him that you love him (if you do) but he can't move in with you. If you feel like explaining your reasons, then do so, but you aren't obligated to explain yourself. Nor should you feel guilty if he tries to guilt-trip you into taking him in. Good luck!

    Answer by FrogSalad at 8:21 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • DON'T DO IT!   You will be enabling him and he will never get back on his feet.


    Answer by beeky at 9:45 PM on Jul. 10, 2010

  • You and your husband need to get your own place. It does not need to be extravagant, but you cannot raise your family in this environment. If your mom wants to have your brother back, that is her business. But you need to have some boundaries for your family.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 5:21 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • So you and your family can live with your mother but he can't?? Sounds a little hypocritical to me. You may not be as big of a mooch as he is but you are still living off your mom.

    Answer by newmomma14 at 1:06 PM on Jul. 11, 2010