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what should i do? i need some nonbiased advice.

i recently started back to work after my maternity leave. i have been working average of 25-30 hours a week. my dh (love him to death) is on his off season at work and is staying home with our 2 kids. i clean the house on my days off, but while i'm working, i am so tired when i get home that it is hard for me to take care of the kids and clean and make dinner, well you get the point. but when i come home the house is a mess, there are dirty dishes in the sink, clean clothes on our bed instead of put away. then when i do clean dh says, hey the bathroom is really bad too. and he is doing what? playing video games or is tired. advice on how to approach the situation without sounding like a bitch?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:25 AM on Jul. 11, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Try having an honest conversation with him. I hate to generalize, but men are dense and need things spelled out for them. Does he need a list of "chores"? Does he even truly realized the roles have shifted and he is now Mr.Mom? Just ask him what he thinks is fair and go from there. He might surprise you and pick up the slack. :) If all else fails use a sticker chart and reserve nookie for good behavior!! LOL (I am truly kidding!!)


    Answer by love2snorkel70 at 1:31 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Tell him that you are tired, stressed and need a maid.
    When he says that you cannot afford a maid, then tell him that he needs to help keep the place clean then and discuss what chores he can take off your plate.

    LEAD with the maid thing... so you don't sound like a nag. Plus, if he agrees to a maid.. then problem solved. =)

    Answer by Niki_sd at 6:05 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • I agree with love2snorkel70, but also don't let him get away with it. Men sometimes act like they're incompetent or that they shouldn't have to do it just so you will. Let him know that that is not part of the deal, you can't be the bread winner and susie homemaker at the same time.

    Answer by Deathlilly at 1:44 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • ummmmmm i would say then clean it if your worried about it am cleaning this right now, i need some help too. .. . . something along those lines

    Answer by emleejanedom at 1:29 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • and then later i woulwait to watch him cleaning something and say hey by the way my car is really dirty, could you clean that for me while your at it

    Answer by emleejanedom at 1:30 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • I got sooo tired of asking for help i just told him i`m getting a maid. I work full time outside the home and part time on weekends.He knows he cant grumble about the cost coz he will then have to pick up the slack.

    Answer by maimutsa at 4:25 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Guys don't like hearing complaining, they like solutions. So I'd just up front tell him basically what you said there but then offer a solution, like maybe making a schedule where you guys clean certain rooms on certain days- or make him realize he should clean a little more since he is the one at home and who has more time to do so. It's a tough situation though, wish you the best of luck :)

    Answer by lexi8622 at 10:59 PM on Jul. 11, 2010