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i need disipline suggestions for an almost 3yr old that are not spanking and other then time out

time outs are not really working. my son is the type that acts naughty to get a reaction... for example he pushes kids in the pool at our condo... the older kids provoke him to push them in then he gets confused and will push a child in that doesnt want to be pushed.... im constantly telling the older kids he doesnt understand who he can and can not push.... so please dont tell him to push you in... mybe the time outs need to be longer then 3 min...i find myself yelling alot more then i should. is there anything else other then time out and spanking for a 3yr old thank u!

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Rydersmommy616

Asked by Rydersmommy616 at 3:39 AM on Jul. 11, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 14 (1,405 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Have you considered keeping him away from the influence of the older kids?
    Instead of saying "don't push!" try "We keep our hands to ourselves" Tell him what he can do, rather than what he cannot do.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 3:57 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Time-outs are a form of punishment and punishments don't stop bad behavior or teach good behavior. In most kids they make behavior worse. Punishment based parening is authoritarian. Authoritative parenting style is most effective. You can google and find out about parenting styles. 


    Love & Limits by Elizabet Crary is a great first parenting book that is a problem solving method based on prevention. She has a website called star parenting. There are many things parents can do. You can use logical consequences. If your child pushes at the pool you leave the pool. No warnings, counting, lectures, ect. If you do this with a couple of things your child learn you mean what you say and say what you mean.  

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:56 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • You can reward good behavior. Your child may be too young to go to the pool and you can wait until next year. You could keep your child next to you or in a carrier. You can prepare your child before you go about expected behavior. You can teach your child some sign language so you can communicate from a distance in noisy situations.


    I have a strong willed 22 mo grandson. I know how difficult it can be. It is such a pleasure when you are able to keep your child under control and can take your child anywhere and know your child will behave. There are lots of ways of learning; books, websites, dvds, courses, workshops, conferences, ect.


     

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 5:07 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • take away something s/he likes and make him/her earn it back with good behavior.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 6:00 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • What worked for us, was putting our daughter's favorite item (Bankie Bay) in a closet for ten minutes.


    I think that the best parenting book ever is Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort. You can learn more at http://www.naomialdort.com/

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:36 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Each child has their "currency" , that which is most important to them and you can withhold this from them as punishment. I would not let him interact with older kids. If it is unavoidable then you need to explain they can get pushed because they are older. This takes a lot more supervision on your part. I would make sure he is getting a lot of positive praise for things he does right. Also, needs tons of love.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 11:22 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Time out should not be longer than his age. He needs to know that he cannot push anyone, no matter what. He is not old enough to decipher what is right and wrong yet and should not be allowed to push anyone. Tell him what you expect of him before you go to the pool. If he acts bad, give him a warning/time out. If he does it again, take him in the house. Tell him that you already told him what you expected from him, and he did not act as he should, and that is why he is back in the house. There are certain instances when you have to ignore his behavior. If he is throwing a fit, you let him know that it wrong, but do not sit there yelling at him about it, just ignore him. If he does something wrong, you need to pull him aside, tell him that it is wrong and tell him why. Get down on his level. It is amazing how children react when we come to their level. Good luck.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 2:37 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • If the older kids are telling him to do it, I don't think he deserves to be in trouble. I would either talk to their parents, or keep him away from those kids.
    llamaprincess

    Answer by llamaprincess at 11:28 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • I know at a community pool like that it is hard to keep your kids away from other kids, so before I go down to the pool I'd tell my little one that we have to keep our hands to ourselves and if we don't listen to mommy (or whom ever) we are going to have to go home and no more pool time. Time outs don't work for my little one either, but when I take things away from her or her away from something it seems to have a better effect. And she deffinatly listens better when I tell her ahead of time the rules, cause when she's all excited and having fun it's a little harder to listen!! Hope this helped, good luck!
    Blessedmama23

    Answer by Blessedmama23 at 9:29 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

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