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parents being more lenient ?

Lots of parents acting more as a friend and not as a parent. I see them giving in to their childs demands too often and then wonder why kids dont listen to them and get out of control. Are we becoming more lenient? Has it always been this way? Are parents taking more abuse from children now days? Are you taking the same approach to parenting as your parents? Are you more strict? Less strict?

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-pw-covenant-

Asked by -pw-covenant- at 9:29 AM on Jul. 11, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 6 (122 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Far too many parents don't realize that their job is to parent, not to be a best friend. If more people were actually parenting these days instead of allowing all sorts of inappropriate behaviors, society as a whole would be much better off. No, it has absolutely not always been this way, and it's a terribly sad reflection on our society that it is that way now.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 9:33 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • ^^^^^^ what she said! Im a parent first than a friend IMO
    starestrada

    Answer by starestrada at 9:35 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • I couldn't have said it better aliceinalgonac!
    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 9:35 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Yes, I believe parents are becoming too lenient. I don't spend my time trying to get my children to LIKE me, I spend my time trying to get my children to be good people. In the end if you are a parent to them and you make them into good people they will end up being friends with you anyway and respecting you for parenting them well. All that comes from a lack of parenting is them growing up and resenting you for not parenthing them well.
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 9:37 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • While I do have a good friendship with my son, I am a parent first and foremost. I believe in respect and boundaries and rules and my son knows what is expected of him and what the consequences are if he does not follow the rules. I am not a tyrant, but I am fairly strict and do not let me son walk all over me. My husband tends to be more of a pushover, but we are working on it and I am the one that is home with my son more.
    I do have several friends that I love but I see how they let their kids manipulate and talk back and get away with it and it makes me cringe. My son knows better and he knows what will happen if he tries to back talk me or lie or not follow rules.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:58 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • My mother was horridly controlling and abusive. We were monitored 24/7 and were not permitted to have friends, listen to music, talk on the phone or watch TV without her there - even at 18. We were required to work from the time we turned 11 (we worked for both my mother & a family friend) and gave her 1/2 of all our earnings for rent. We also had to pay for our own clothes and any food we wanted that she didn't want to buy (treats, junkfood, healthfood)... She searched our room at least once a week and we were sent to a sitter if she couldn't be home.

    Now, did it stop me from doing what I wanted? NO! I just snuck our or walked out. It didn't matter if we behaved the way she wanted or not, we couldn't live up to perfect. So if I was going to get in trouble, I figured I would at least enjoy it.

    Am I more liberal than my mother? YES, I sure hope so! But do my kids run the show? By no means. I think there is a middle road.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:44 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Sabrina,How awful for you. I had a step mom that treated me that way but I left my dad's house because I could not take it. I am shooting for a happy medium for my kids. I am not their best friend,my dh wants to be their best buddy. I am doing the best I can to bring them up good but I am first and foremost the parent.
    momthruivf

    Answer by momthruivf at 10:49 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Well, I have come to realize I wasn't really parented. My parents divorced when I was 11. I did do some things I wouldn't want my kids to do (parties w/alcohol, lying to stay out later, nothing major) but both my bro & I turned out to be great people. My Dad was the last to have us & he was pretty strict & was working his butt off to support us. I felt as though i couldn't let him down & became self reliant at an early age. My Mom was bipolar and abused drugs & alcohol so no help there. I give my kids as much responsibility as I think they can handle & continually give them support when they make the right choices (& love always). I say "Just because you can doesn't mean you should." I have a good sense of humor as well. I am surprised sometimes at the lack of parenting I've seen, but do realize that some circumstances make it difficult for some parents to accomplish it effectively. It is so difficult & not for the squeamish!
    dflygirl7

    Answer by dflygirl7 at 9:03 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • My father was abusive, emotionally, physically and mentally - while my stood back and allowed it. Neither of them parented well in my opinion, they showed favortism and I wasn't the favorite being the oldest. They were very strict with me and because of this I lied, snuck out, drank, had sex very early and did a lot of things I would never want my kids to do. My parents never allowed me to participate in activities like sports, they never talked or discussed things, our home was a place where children were seen not heard if we were heard watch out for the beatings.
    I am not my parents and never want to be. I am a parent and I believe I'm a damn good one. Am I more lenient? I suppose in ways I am, but my kids allowed the freedom and the ability to trust me and come to me make me a better parent, I don't believe children should be scared of their parents, putting fear in them makes them do things you don't want them too.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:44 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Yes, parents are more liberal than in past generations and the result is disrespectful children. So many children are not parented at all, but treated as the prince or princess of the home. Our daughters are treated with respect and we expect the same in return. However, they do not have the misconception that the world revolves around them, which will be a strong dose of reality for many of today's kids when they hit the real world.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:42 AM on Jul. 13, 2010

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