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Advice ..

I got my friend a job working with me about a yr ago. I am one of her supervisors. We work with the school board so we have extra time off over the summer. When I left for vacation I got a call from the other supervisor stating my friend went to HR and told them we are mean, unproffessional and always make her cry. This is completely untrue. We were always getting in trouble because we were always loud and having "too much fun" at work. She said all of this b/c the owner doesn't like her and was mad at her b/c she brought her son to work and he was being very bad. So she was sent home. Then she said all of this stuff about us being mean. My boss said either we fix the problem or the entire dept. is gone (about 5 of us in dept.). The other supervisor spoke with her and now she's GREAT and HAPPY.
My ?: How do I handle her when school starts again? If you need more info, just ask.


Asked by NOLAmommaKRYS at 9:38 AM on Jul. 11, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 15 (2,032 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Well treat her as an employee. The reason is that when working with friends and family tis best to be professional. This way if she or you take it personally as in the case you mentioned above that can sink a relationship. Where as being professional means that there are guidelines to keep everyone accountable. As well as consequences to the one(s) who isnt. As a part of your personal relationship, tell her that what she did was not something you expected nor accept. Since it just doesnt affect just you and her but the entire departments jobs. Tell her how she jeopardized it all. That if she had a problem she needs to address it professionally. As for bringing a child to work, that is understandable if the child has no babysitter and is well behaved. Which the child wasnt on the latter. Hence I hope it works well for you.

    Answer by CloudWeaver at 9:52 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • I would confront her and tell her that she needs to get a grip and stop trying to make trouble. She would not have the job if not for you, right?

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:52 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!! And realize that if you and your other co-workers are ultimately doing your jobs with the utmost professionalism, and stay out of the "drama" (ignore it all), it will become quite clear who the problem employee is! You all need to agree to ignore such complaints--she's going to run to HR at every turn, so why bother defending yourself all the time. Eventuallyl HR will get tired of listening to her chronic complaints, and SHE'LL be the one that is out!

    This is the primary reason why you should never work with or hire friends or family! Someone's feathers always end up getting ruffled! :o) I was a regional HR director for a large hotel chain, so I've seen PLENTY when it comes to the chronic complainers. They tend not to stick around very long--who has time for all of that?! :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:54 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • I agree with CloudWeaver. On the job, I would be professional with her. Outside the job, I would tell her to get a grip and know that while you may have helped her to get a job, she's responsible for behaving professionally and getting her job done without creating too many waves. I'd also tell her point blank that she'll lose her job before I lose mine! Again, how much you share depends on the closeness of your relationship. Her recent outburst leads me to believe you aren't very close at all.

    Answer by Ewadun at 10:02 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • She has deleted AND blocked you? What have you done to her to deserve that? I assume probably nothing. So why would she do this knowing it would affect you (about the complaining)? Especially after what you have done for her? Either she wasn't a good friend to begin with or she is having some kind of crisis. That's just really messed up.

    Answer by Rosxjun at 12:23 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Thanks ladies. Our dept is pretty laid back. But I've talked with the other supervisor and have decided to set up a set of rules that must be followed and write up a list of consequences if these rules are not followed. They will be sent out to everyone in the dept.Oh, and I got her fiance' a job working with my brother. And this is how she repays me..and she was my daughter's godmother.I would confront her but I have not worked with her since summer started and I'd e-mail her but she has deleted and blocked me from myspace/facebook. I would e-mail her at work but she is on her vacation right now. I would like to confront her, but I honestly don't think it would do any good. I've tried to confront her about other issues and she makes it seem like I am picking on her and yelling at her for something other people have done. But it's none of her business what I tell other people, I talk with them in private, just like I do w/ her

    Comment by NOLAmommaKRYS (original poster) at 10:08 AM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • @Rosxjun: Yes she has deleted and blocked me. I have not done anything to her. We got into a little argument outside of work and then she started acting like this. After she deleted and blocked me she got other people to watch my status updates and if they thought any of them could have been directed towards her (which none of them were), they would send it to her and then she would send it to HR. I honestly don't know what her deal is. I've tried to talk to her and I've tried to ask what was wrong but she would dodge my phone calls and text messages. I know her grandma is VERY sick with alzheimer's right now (so is my grandma) and I've tried to be there for her, but she says she doesn't wanna talk about it but then talks about how she is grateful for all of her friends b/c they talked to her and made her feel better. She claims she's happy now that we aren't friends anymore. She was DD's godmother.

    Comment by NOLAmommaKRYS (original poster) at 12:38 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • U just have to let her know that you had a meeting and you know what was said so now its on a professional level.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 1:13 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • you need to keep your professional relationship and personal relationship totally seperate.

    that means, at work, you need to treat her like you would any other employee.

    Answer by MommyToEthan at 3:10 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

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