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went to a guys house I had an affair with... dont really know why

cheated on my 1st husband with a man (my ex was abusive but still no excuse).I am now remarried and for some reason I found myself driving to his house to say hi. I have not seen him in over 5yrs and I cut off communication. I am asking myself WHY I want to see him? I dont want to sleep w him, it was never good sex. Wondering what is wrong with me. By the way, he was not home. I feel so guilty for going there. anyone else done this?


Asked by Anonymous at 6:40 PM on Jul. 11, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • You need to figure out what is nagging you about your current relationship.

    Answer by lovinangels at 6:46 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • kind of.
    looked up guys I used to be with - something exciting about it I suppose.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 6:42 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Dont beat yourself up. We all fall short some times- just be happy he wasnt home & let it go. If you feel guilty you know it was wrong, so just dont do it again. Move on be happy. Dont dwell!

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 6:42 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • No, I would never do that. And yes, I did step out of my relationship once.But it made me realize how SO is the only one for me and that I love him more than anything in the world. Maybe there are underlying problems in your current relationship and you feel that, the man you cheated with is your way out? Maybe it is your unconscious way of telling yourself something?

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 6:43 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Don't do it!!!!!!!!!! ( again)

    Answer by 1lilgirl at 6:46 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • It's like a Adrenaline Rush in a way. Or it could just be curiosity to see how he's doing now.

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 6:46 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • No, that's not something I have ever done.

    If you really are wondering why you did that.. Look into yourself and you will find your answers.

    Are you unhappy in your relationship?
    Do you have any needs or wants that you feel are not being respected or fulfilled?
    Are you missing any connections within your relationship?
    How happy are you with YOU?

    From my personal experience I will share this. People who are happy, fulfilled, satisfied and content with their relationship and/or themselves do not cheat, consider cheating or look to cheat, or look to reach out to someone in that manner.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:46 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • its just your way of telling him that your doing better then he expected you to. you want to rub it in his face and show him what he's been missing. you also may want to be snoopy lol.

    some of us have those ex's that we want to rub something in thier face.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 6:52 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Have you seen a therapist? It never hurts to have a professional to help sort out underlying issues we are having.

    Answer by pnwmom at 6:55 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • The number one reason people cheat bc emotional needs are not being met at home. Maybe that is why you did it. You can't change the first incident but you can tell dh to step up to the plate and take care of your emotional needs. That way you won't find yourself at this guy's house again.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:56 PM on Jul. 11, 2010