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Feel like I missed out on a chance of great love...

we were best friends in high school and I was his first. He left to go to go to the Marines and I started seing someone else. he visited about a yr after he left and asked me to go back w him and marry him. I said no. I cannot get him out of my head and wonder what could have been.Why didn't I say yes?? I am married now but never had that closeness like we shared.I heard he got married but he still says he would have married me if I said yes. I want to call him, but what good would that do??


Asked by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on Jul. 11, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I think that you should leave the past in the past. There were reasons in the past that lead to why you never married him. If he's married now and you're married, you're just asking for trouble if you call him or try to stay in contact with him. If you're unhappy in your marriage, then you should have a talk with your husband and try to work that out. I don't think longing an ex and thinking about "what if" is going to help anything.

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:30 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • It would be very wise to put thoughts of him and what might have been completely out of your head. Every time you think about him, replace those thoughts with thoughts of your husband. Call a friend and tell her how wonderful your husband is if that's what it takes. No matter what you had with him, it would be very difficult to reconnect without their being all kinds of difficulties. Look to the future and not at the past. That's where the good things are!!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:56 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • I agree the past is in the past. When you think of how things were or would have been you probably think good thoughts, probably don't think about how there would be fights, times of feeling lonely, times of wondering if I hadn't said yes to the first guy where would I be? Move on. You are married now try to make it work or leave.

    Answer by kc932 at 7:11 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • I'd leave the past in the past but that's just me.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:54 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • First loves are so special, but the grass is not always greener on the other side. Calling won't help anything. I hope you have a good life now. Build on that.

    Answer by elizabr at 6:56 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • I meant to also say that I feel there is not only one person who can make us happy.

    Answer by elizabr at 6:58 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • That was then. This is Now.....

    Answer by greenergypsy at 7:00 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Are you feeling unhappy, unsatisfied in your marriage? Do you have needs or wants that you feel aren't being met?

    These are usually reasons behind why someone starts longing for something from the past, wondering about a "what if" in regards to someone from the past, or begin looking at other pastures with different eyes in general.

    If there are issues in your marriage. I would strongly advise you NOT to get in touch with this man, do not start up contact or renew a "friendship".. You are already wondering "what if" and almost pining for what you had with this person. If you get in touch with him, you will most likely start down a slippery slope that you do not want to go down...

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:02 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • the past is just that. . .the past. I'd let it go & move on.

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 7:09 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Since your both married then I say to leave it alone. It wasn't meant to be or it would have been.

    Answer by Cindy18 at 7:10 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

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