Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

I feel like a bad mom.....

Yesterday we had our boys' birthday party and friends of ours (we have only been friends for about a month or so) stayed alittle later with their little girl and baby boy. Anyway what happend was my 4 year old (just turned 4) and her 2 1/2 year old girl were up stairs playing in his room (they have played together alone alot in their bedrooms) and the little girl started crying so the dad went upstairs and found both of them butt naked laying in my sons toddler bed. I feel horrible! I dont know why they would have did this or where they got it from! I feel worse because it happend at my house and my son is older so most likely it was his idea. I tried talking to him about it but he just kept saying i dont know. They even had the light off. Of course her mom and i talked and she said at least it happend when we were all together. We both talked to our children and told them that it was not appropriate and should never happen

Answer Question
 
mommyofone15

Asked by mommyofone15 at 9:26 PM on Jul. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 11 (576 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • happen again. Her mother and I talked and she said that it was good it happend with all of us together and she does not look differently on us. I just feel like its my fault some how for his behavior. And i dont know why he would have did it. The weird part was the day before he had his 4 yr check up and the doc of course touched his privates and told him that she can only do that cause shes a doctor and i was right there but no one else is allowed to look or touch. I dunno my brain is just going in soo many directions and i dont know what to do! Please help
    mommyofone15

    Comment by mommyofone15 (original poster) at 9:29 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Wow, that's rough, but if you guys are good friends than it shouldn't cause a problem.
    momofone221

    Answer by momofone221 at 9:29 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Don't feel o bad. It's about that age when kids start to wonder about the opposite sex. I had something similar happen with my oldest when he was 5, I think both of us mothers were mortified! As long as it stays innocent and they have been told that private areas need to stay private etc. I think your ok.
    momofne

    Answer by momofne at 9:31 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • I don't want to scare you or insinuate anything however, I have heard that some children do things like that because someone else did something similar to them...The only reason i am even saying this is so that you can think back to if there was ever a time there was someone with your son that you didn't trust so you can deal with it now while he is still young.  I am so sorry you are going through this!!


     HUGS :)

    momofone072506

    Answer by momofone072506 at 9:40 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Kids explore. This isn't abuse between the children, it was children exploring. Perhaps he was interested more in his body and hers because of his drs appointment. You aren't a bad mom. Just time to again have the private parts are private for a reason talk.
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 9:40 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • i think that since its already done with...and no one got any hard feelings about it or hurt your friendship, it should be passed. dont feel guilty unless the fault was on you only but it wasnt.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 9:52 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • If he has ever seen you and your DH in bed together (which is very likely- even if you thought he was sleeping. Kids are sneaky), then that would offer a reasonable explanation.
    Explain that it's not OK, and don't make him feel bad, or guilty. He may simply have been trying to show her affection in a way her saw mommy and daddy showing affection (that does not make it OK, but it happens).

    Unless he shows any other signs of abuse, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion- kids do things like this, very innocently, and no one is to blame.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:53 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • It's natural for kids of that age to be curious.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 7:40 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN