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Am I being to up tight?

I do everything around the house, run errands for everyone and occassionaly his family, take care of all his business, I mean I do everything. I just get tired and wish I could have some ME time. I should add that my kids is always screaning, fighting, or just being plain loud. I know I should be happy as long as they are getting along but I get really BAD headaches so I just ask them to sit down or go to their rooms. They never listen thougth. I feel like everyone in this family runs all over me. I sooo bad want to be the "perfect housewife" But I just get so tired and it makes it worse when dh treats me the way he does. I know I am suppose to do these things but I get really frustrated when I get treated like crap from everyone. All I ask for is once a mth or twice a mth having some me time. Today dh wanted me to go 2 houses down to give our neighbor the tamales he ordered and he wasnt there but next to him his family was

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Hiswife169

Asked by Hiswife169 at 10:08 PM on Jul. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (33 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • everyone deserves some me time.
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 10:09 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • at their house. I didnt want to walk back and forth, and I told him they could come get them or him wait for me to know for sure they were there. Well he gets an attitude from hell. I am not selling the tamales he is for a friend so that is something he needs to take care of not me.This is just an example. Am I being to uptight?
    Hiswife169

    Comment by Hiswife169 (original poster) at 10:10 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Just take a day off. Leave and tell him you need a break...
    HuskerMommy08

    Answer by HuskerMommy08 at 10:11 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Just tell him you are taking a night to yourself and get out of the house. That is not too much to ask. Go to the movies or something!
    Mel_in_PHX

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 10:12 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • You are not alone! It's so hard to find the time. The one thing that I do for myself is see a thearpist once every two weeks! Funny thing is over half the time we talk about my kids!Lol. You should do something that you enjoy,a massage,a manicure or pedicure,shopping. I am really telling you to do something that I have not been brave enough to get out and do yet. I used to but fell out of step. Just know you are not the only mom struggling w/finding the time. GL
    momthruivf

    Answer by momthruivf at 10:16 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • You will go insane if you don't get some time to yourself. You really just need to tell him this is the time and the night you are going out and getting your "me" time. You have to stand up for yourself.
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 10:20 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • Look, you're tired. Everyone gets that way every once in a while. No matter how much time you take to yourself, you are going to feel this way. That is until you stand up for yourself. You need to learn the words "No" and "not right now". You also need to learn when and how to use them. When your DH asks you to deliver something, "This is going to have to wait. I am busy right now. If you aren't busy, you need to do it." When the kids get loud, take them outside, if they are too young to go by themselves. Take a book, and a cold drink with you and sit and relax. The laundry will be there when you go back in. The mess will still be there. It is all about learning how to manage everything at once.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 10:31 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • I feel for you!!!!!...This is what I have done around my house. I have had to learn to do this with both the hubby and my Down Syndrome daughter....who has daddy twisted around her finger...and tries to do it with me too. Despite her disability...we are having a real life conflict mother/daughter . And she will be 17 tomorrow. Luckily I've had a lot of experience with being a classroom teacher and I RULED!!! I was firm and believe it or not...the kids sooner or later were eating out of my hand.....It's because I, like I am learning to do now.....took my rightful position as the authority figure, but still loved. and encouraged and rewarded good behavior. At home...I have taken my power back. Hubby is easy...I tell him ahead of time what I will be doing alone several night a week to keep my sanity..church things....With the girl....It's working through a temper tantrum....but helping her to grow, limited choices...
    VeronicaTex

    Answer by VeronicaTex at 11:07 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • You Deserve to be loved the right way.. Sit down and have a talk with the family.. Tell them that MOMMY aint happy! I have been there many times.. and it will just keep getting worse and worse and worse until you find a solution.. Talking it out as a family might be the best way.. I know kids dont always listen or help pick up.. Your headaches might be caused by the stress. I had some for quite sometime.. until I refused to let me kids walk all over me anymore..
    MommySteph1011

    Answer by MommySteph1011 at 11:38 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • After my own mom died I realized how much a mother means to a family. They come to you to cure their pain, heal their heart, teach them right from wrong....We are the glue that holds the family together. We do it without compaint. We only want the best for our family. We have such a great responsibility, but if we don't care for ourselves how can we care for them? I have a husband who works nights, sleeps, and spends maybe (during the days he works) four hours a day at the least plugged in to us. That's not counting his time off. Most of that he winds up falling alseep on us. At times I feel like a single parent. We need to recharge our batteries too, and we can't do that with constant interruption...I have two girls under 6 yrs of age. They fight ALL the time over anything and nothing, I need a break...so I escape to my porch swing and reconnect with nature. Grab a good book and enjoy the tranquility. It does help.
    truetigress

    Answer by truetigress at 12:54 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

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