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Brothers who always fight??

I have 2 boys, they are 11 7. They are always fighting, never hardly play together or at least nicely. The youngest adores the oldest and always wants to play but of course the older doesn't. I was the only child growing up so this is all to new to me. Any advice on how to get them to enjoy each others company instead of like rivals??

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Chasity625

Asked by Chasity625 at 11:04 PM on Jul. 11, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • My kids seem to always be fighting it drives me nutz. Maybe find something they both like and can do together? Me and my sister always fought. We didn't stop fighting til I moved out of the house. Now we are really good friends!
    crazymom21

    Answer by crazymom21 at 11:16 PM on Jul. 11, 2010

  • It doesn't get any better the older they get...lol, my boys are 14 and almost 13.... I love my crazy life though. What I do is ignore the not important arguments and let them figure it out for themselves. It's hard, I know....
    humphrf

    Answer by humphrf at 9:40 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • yes it is very hard. i try to ignore it and let them figure it out on their own but man just drives me nuts. And i feel for my youngest all he wants to do is play with his brother. My husband and his sister were 7 years apart and fought all the time but now they are close. So i will live through it,lol.
    Chasity625

    Comment by Chasity625 (original poster) at 11:26 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • This has always been going on in siblings life, it its totally normal, but try to be the referee, and stress on the oldest that he is smaller and should be more lenient on him because of this. My daughter did this too, and now as full grown adults are best of friends.
    You will live through this and anything else they throw at you, be patient, it will all calm down when they get older.
    older

    Answer by older at 12:24 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • My boys are 15 and 11 and they fight pretty regularly too - although it has gotten better as they have gotten older. The one thing that I think helped is talking to my older son about his role as an the older brother, how his younger brother looks up to him. and the importance of how his actions can affect his brother in the future, causing to feel like he's not good enough to be in his brothers life. The one thing I have realized is no matter how much they may fight (which now is mostly just for fun and not mean spirited) they are the first to be there for each other, to stand up for each other and to help each other. My older son takes pride in being to coach my younger son's baseball and football teams, he even put together a two week summer camp for the elementary students to have football in the summer. He gathered friends, sent out flyers and does it for fun so his brother can play. I think over time it gets better
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:37 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Just know that it does get better. Never take sides when it happens and lay the rules out so it does not get on your nerves. The older brother will always pick on the younger brother, that never ends even when they grow up to be men but the younger brother has to put his foot down (eventually he will) and it won't be as bad...I think the older brother picking on the younger brother is a bonding thing! LOL
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:01 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

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