Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How and if I should tell grandparent about thier one and only grandchild?

my child's father currently is married. before he got married he got me pregnant. after i told him he told me he didnt want anything do with our child or me. thats fine. my question is should i tell his mother she is a grandma? i never met her and she has no idea about me, yes his wife knows about me. i've started a letter but i only got This is a hard letter to write, mainly because I don’t know how you will respond. Let me begin by saying, that I want nothing from you.""'....i draw a blank after that, it leaves me wondering if i am doing the right thing by trying to contact her? BTW should I wait for paternity test ( no way he isn't the father) or would that be tacky to attach that in the letter?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:09 AM on Jul. 12, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • MY X DIDNT TALK TO HIS PARENTS FOR OVER THREE YEARS. FINALLY AT 7MONTHS PREGNANT WITH THEIR FIRST GRANDCHILD I FOUND THEIR ADDRESS. WROTE A NOTE SAYING. " YOU DON'T KNOW ME BUT I AM WITH YOUR SON WEARE HAVING A BABY IN A COUPLE OF MONTHES JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO BE GRANDPARENTS. GAVE MY NUMBER AND ADDRESS AND SENT IT OUT 3 DAYS LATER I GET A CALL FROM A VERY EXCITED WOMAN. YOU SHOULD TELL THEMJUST CAUSE HE DON'T WANT TOBE A DAD DOESN'T MEAN THEY DON'T WANT TO BE GRANDPARENTS. JUST SIMPLY STATE YOU ARE PREGNANT BY THEIR SON YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE MUCH DETAIL AND I HOPE THAT FOR THE BABY'S SAKE THEY WANT TO BE AROUND. GOOD LUCK
    mom2girls82

    Answer by mom2girls82 at 8:44 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • i def would. she has a right to know. as far as a test, i wouldnt, but let her know you are 100% willing to do one. gl!!
    rileymommy

    Answer by rileymommy at 8:24 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I would make it simple. I would just tell her that she is a grandmother & might want to know in case she wants a part in the child's life. You don't even have to say "i don't want anything from you", in fact it think you should scratch that all together. Let her know that she is a grandma & let her make the choice to be in the babies life or not. Good luck!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:22 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • i would leave the part of you are not asking for anything that you are just informing her so that shes knows...i think they have the right to know..they may surprise you and be stoked...
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 10:13 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Dont say "I dont want anything from you", b/c you do or you wouldn't be writting this letter. It's awsome to ask for help when you need it. I'm not sure about the dna test, look into the cost, and if the dad has to take it. I'm pretty sure he does, question is would he be willing? When you talk with the grandparents, make sure you tell them you need help and that this is grand-baby need help too. It's not about the money just the support, make sure you say that. You also need to know medical history for the sake of the baby. Be honest and humble. Show no remorse for the failed relationship with their son, and never bad talk him to his parents. Be hones, sincere, patient, kind, and humble. Go for it girl. Do it in person. Although you don't get along with this man, y'all got along long enough to concieve this child. Don't tallk with the wife, go for the grandparents.
    Let me know how it works out:)
    Call4me

    Answer by Call4me at 11:56 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I would definitely contact her. She has a right to know about her grandchild. Also, what if you need to know anything about the family medical history in the future? I have a co-worker who is dealing with this issue right now. the grandparents won't give any medical information until the paternity test is done.
    mama2br00ke

    Answer by mama2br00ke at 12:35 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN