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2 Bumps

What's the best way to approach this...

My husband just got down on me for flipping out on my kids. They were both pulling at my hair, literally, and it hurt so I yelled out of pain. My DD lowered her head because I flipped out and my son stopped pulling. My husband chimed in "what's the problem, there's no need to yell at em. Look at her, she's lowering her head because your yelling at her".
I KNOW i'm not perfect. I KNOW I yell sometimes when I shouldn't......but he does this more often than I do. He'll flip out on the kids and scream and yell at them, causing the same reactions, and it breaks my heart when he does it too.
I'm not saying it's right, but I really feel on the defence because he's not here half as much as I am (24/7 with the kids). He doesn't have to deal with the daily ups and downs like I do....
I guess I feel embarassed that I lost control and he pointed it out.
What's the best way to feel about the whole situation? What's the right attitude


Asked by CAGirl4 at 11:48 AM on Jul. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,438 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I think we've all lost our cool with our kids at times... My SO and I had a situation just like this, except we were in a grocery store and I yelled at my DD. He grabbed her from me and told me I was wrong and she didn't deserve that and then walked away. I may have been in the wrong, and I believe my SO had a right to discuss it with me. I was embarrassed too, but I was also upset because my SO attempted to correct me in front of my DD. Which I think is disrespectful to my authority as a parent. I would of preferred that he pulled me aside and spoke to me instead. We talked about it, i admitted I was wrong in my actions and he admitted that he would not correct my parenting in front of my DD. Unless I was beating her, which we do not do. Since then, we have both lost our cool and we pull aside, allow the other parent to cool off and talk about how the situation could of been handled better.

    Answer by allfiller at 12:04 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I think we all lose our cool at times. Spouses should be able to keep each other in check. I have gotten after my husband for losing his temper and he has also gotten after me for it.

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:49 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Yeah, we all get a little out-a-control sometimes... I would have said "OK, I'm stressed I need a good massage & I'm going to take it out on you IN BED".... :)

    Answer by MDT09 at 11:51 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • If he has double standards, you have a right to be upset about that. But are you sure you're upset with him, or with yourself. No parent is perfect. Maybe make a rule that anytime you OR DH yells, you have to put a dollar in a jar. Once the jar has enough money, you take the LO's out to eat at their fav. place.

    Answer by renea20 at 11:54 AM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Let this be a reminder that you have the tough job to set an example to your family. I don't know why husbands expect us to act cool all the time. Husbands aren't required to set an example they can yell and say whatever they want. Blame it on society! ;(

    Answer by Energ8zr at 12:00 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Please no bashing, I'm really upset that I yelled, and appologized to my children...gave them hugs and kisses and explained that it hurt me and they shouldn't be fighting. I told them I shouldn't have yelled.

    Comment by CAGirl4 (original poster) at 11:49 AM on Jul. 12, 2010