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My SO is upset with me because of a hypothetical situation... how on earth do I fix this?

My SO's good friend is doing 30 days in jail right now. He got a DUI, paid over 10 grand to a lawyer to keep from getting a felony for it and is doing jail time. My SO made a comment about how he was glad he wasn't in that situation and asked me what I would do if he was. I told my SO that if he was irresponsible enough to get a DUI, put us 10k in debt, lose his job and do 30-days in jail, leaving me to take care of the family and pay his 10k debt that I'd kick his ass to the curb. I was honest, probably too honest. But now he thinks that I wouldn't stick with him through anything, which is true, I have my boundaries... my SO is upset with me and this isn't even happening to us... how do I get him to stop being upset? This seems a little ridiculous to me...

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Jul. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • I don't know, I probably would have told my DH the same thing. He wouldn't have gotten upset about it however.

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 12:48 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • well, you may just want to let it blow over.

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:48 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • He is going overboard but it sounds like he is more mad about the fact that "for better or worse" is very limited. If you think about it, you can drink 1 beer and drive in 20 minutes and get a DUI and not feel tipsy.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:50 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I think I'd say something like, "Look, I realize that your feelings are hurt regarding the hypothetical DUI thing. But honey, I KNOW it's not something that would ever happen. If I thought you were the type of person who might have that happen, I wouldn't be with you to begin with. I'm with you because you are a responsible individual who I know I can count on. Give me a hypothetical that has an actual possibility of happening and I think you'll see that I am VERY committed to you and will support you. Have cancer? Get paralyzed? Lose your job? I'm right here next to you."

    Answer by BuddyRoo at 12:50 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • well, he will have to understand that you WILL stick through him through tough times, however, if HE makes such horrible decisions that could affect his family like and relationships with his children and wife, at that point, you have to make changes for your future and your children's future - then remind him he asked your opinion and that is it - what wouid he do if it was YOU ?? throw you a party and thank you>?>? No....

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 12:50 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Well I would just say look there are certain things I would not deal with just like I am sure there are things you would not deal with. But this is stupid to even be arguing about because its not happening to us, Nor do you think it ever will

    Answer by HuggiesMom at 12:51 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Well he should be wise enough to know that people will only take so much. He should be happy that he is with a woman strong enough to not tolerate any BS. On the other hand, maybe he thought that you would put up with anything and is disappointed that you aren't like that. This is ridiculous. As long as he's not a dumb ass like his friend, he has nothing to worry about. Sounds to me like he's blowing things waaaay out of proportion. He'll get over it though.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 12:51 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • this is exactly why I hate hypothetical "what if" questions/scenarios...
    because honestly, I don't know FOR SURE what I would do in a situation, until I've BEEN in that situation...

    maybe just let it blow over. at least you were honest.

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 12:53 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Don't know what to tell you. Hes being a big ol girl about it. I would have said the same thing. In fact I have said similar to it. We had relatives get into drugs, and I made it a point to my Dh if he ever even thought about doing that I would not only leave him, but I would take the kids too. Its hypothetical for one and for two if he were stupid enough to do it then yes.. I would leave in a second and never look back. Just like you said to your dh. Tell him don't be stupid and you wont end up in the situation, so he wont have to worry about it. Was he planning on getting a DUI? Probably not, then stop whining. lol

    Answer by LucasMama08 at 12:53 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • He is entitled to be upset...and he needs to go through the motions of it and feel his upset before he will get over it..if he ever does. I would be upset too if my partner would leave me over something I have done especially if it was just a mistake. I think that shows a weakness seems like a lot of people are willing to give up on a relationship really easily...and a lot of time it isn't over compatibility issues its over the fact that the other person did something that they didn't like. COME ON!!! Your partner isn't going to be perfect, will make mistakes and will do things to annoy you - no reason to give up on them...I think its immature.

    Anyway...he is entitled to be just let him be and be there to help him through his hurt feelings. If he doesn't think you will be there for him through thick and thin of course he is going to be upset and he might be questioning your relationship if he can't 100%

    Answer by keyaziz at 12:53 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

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