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when you are planning to leave ..what should i have on my checklist

important paperwork...........

birth certifciate, kids ss card....__
picture on his computer of our daughter
childs stuff
what am i not thinking of
just decided i have to leave, our child will be coming with me

he has idea but he most likely thinks i will not do

 
fiatpax

Asked by fiatpax at 1:19 PM on Jul. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 46 (221,572 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Make sure that you wipe out your browser history on your computer after EVERY session.

    Bring enough cash to sustain you- or close out your bank account if it is joint (he can do the same, and prevent you from accessing funds)

    Make sure that you have copies of your marriage license, your birth certificates, ss cards, any credit cards, checks, etc. Any other documents (hs diploma, ged, college degrees- anything that you do not feel like replacing), your journal (if you keep one- he can use that as evidence against you), medical cards, and any medical records you have stored at the house.

    Bring any special thing of your childs that you would have a hard time replacing.

    Also, make sure that you alert the police to what is happening, and that you tell at least 2 close friends/fam in case something were to happen, so that people would be aware, and know to look for you.

    I KNOW how hard it is- luck to you.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:24 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • soap,toothpaste, tp, a place to go to, money, a can of mace, anything you hold dear to you Goodluck!
    starestrada

    Answer by starestrada at 1:21 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Money. You need to settle the money sitch quickly and quietly... do you share a bank account? leave him enough he won't starve or get evicted and take the rest.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 1:21 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I would do any paperwork that have you and him joint on anything...like bank accounts, life insurance....anything that ties you to him...so you have your proof of ownership in anything.....the house? anything!
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 1:22 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I believe ObbyDobbie and others gave you a good list!!! I will add if he is abusive, verbally, emotionally or physically, do it as fast as you can and look for a women's shelter or program if this is the case. I had an aunt who didn't leave and took the blow every time her husband would drink...until one day while he was drunk, he killed her and her twin babies, she was expecting. She protected my 2 cousins with her body.
    I'll pray for your safety, hugs and blessings!
    roxipoet

    Answer by roxipoet at 2:43 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • get the child a passport~you might need his presents or cooperation. only one parent can have the passport~
    and something of his to have for the child~sweater, used t shirt, picture~
    surfcitymom

    Answer by surfcitymom at 1:24 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I would pack up necessary items-- toiletries, clothing, child's special toys/book/blanket, jewelery, sentimental items, my important papers (birth certificate, ss card, diplomas), my kids papers (immunization records, birth cert., ss card), I would clear out and close out my bank account and have my money in cash. I would also make copies of all joint papers- and I would grab my credit card statements, car payment book, mortgage payment book, and any life insurance documents or will.
    What my mom did when she left is first she found a flat for rent, and once she paid the deposit/rent she started packing up stuff and slowly moving it out (stuff my dad would not notice- like the seasonal clothes, her good dishes, ) and then she arranged for a moving van and 6 friends to show up and when they arrived she told my dad she was leaving, it was over. He could not do much, as she had witnesses and help. Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:44 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Along with all the important list...make sure you know your laws regarding taking the kids away from him....if you are leaving make sure he can still see the kids...before leaving I would contact an attorney "hint, hint"
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:50 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Please re-think you decision to leave, unless he is abusive, unseen damage will unfold for years to come.
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 1:58 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • http://tcfv.org/pdf/PSP%20ENGLISH.pdf

    This is a checklist of things to do and take
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:31 PM on Jul. 12, 2010