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is it wrong for me to keep doing things for my son when he can do it his self 20 years adult

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Asked by nanna360 at 5:55 PM on Jul. 12, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • yes

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:56 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • well yeah, Its wrong for him to take advantage of u! He is 20, I would tell him to fend for him self. What happens when he gets a girlfriend? he is gonna treat her the same way.

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 5:57 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • yes, if you want him to become independent, you'll have to teach/allow him to do things on his own

    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:57 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • ummm... well it depends on HOW it effects him... i worked with a guy that would tell you he was an only child from the first time you met him, he would take peoples stuff that was cooking in the microwave out to cook his own meal without waiting! he bragged how his mom still cooked and cleaned for him... that sort of thing -- made the guy i work with into an asshole.. but i am sure it effects everyone differently.... WHY do you do it -- because he is still your baby boy?? or to snoop and keep up on him?? what do you get out of it?? hard to tell you if it right or wrong without knowing any real details... but chances are that you know if it is hurting him in anyway...

    Answer by AmaliaD at 5:58 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • yes it certainly is wrong. You are enabling an adult to be a lazy bum. How do you expect him to be in the outside world when mommy has done everything for him?


    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:02 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • My mom still lets my almost 21 year old brother act like a 10 year old. And it's making her miserable. But if you're both happy then there's not really a problem for now. But youre not going to be around forever to take care of him. He should be ABLE to do all these thigns for himself, because it's going to be necessary at some point in his life, but otherwise... meh, do what makes you happy.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 6:04 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • so things are fine but remember you are not going to be around 1 day they will have to do for them selfs have a limit to what you will do and will not do.Like bills they pay rims no cell phone no they will have to grow up sooner or later you just going to make it hard on them that they can come to you for any let them grow and learn and some times it hurts. They wlli think about what they need and what they have to have

    Answer by sunkist332002 at 6:05 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I think it depends on what you're doing.... Cooking for the family and he eats too, no that's seems like a family thing. Cleaning his room, yeah that might be a bit much. I know that when my mom comes to my house to babysit she'll check the drier or the dishes to see if something needs folding or dishes can be put away/cleaned. It's her way of helping/feeling needed. It's not all the time and she doesn't come just to do it but will help out if she's bored. She also helps out when I get put on bedrest or have a new baby at home. Mostly just keeping my toddler busy or letting me take a longish shower every once in a while.

    Answer by terpmama at 6:15 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Yes! It's a dealbreaker for all my girlfriends because it's that big of a deal and shows what is to come.

    Answer by Sara.Robyson at 7:25 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Yes. It is.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 8:23 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

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