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How do you react to a 20 something 350-500 pound man who constantly complains of his weight?

So I have this friend who is always "really going to lose weight this time" and wants everyone to help and encourage him.Well, all of his friends do just that but it doesn't seem to matter.He's always on his free day (where you eat whatever you want) which is supposed to be once a week.

He complains that he just can't lose weight because of his body chemistry.Never mind the amount of food and lack of exercise in his life - to him it's just his body chemistry.

I may get attacked for this but it is so incredibly depressing and frustrating to watch him eat.He can pack an entire XL pizza away in one sitting plus some!

I guess that I just don't know what to do about it.I am so tired of hearing his woe is me speech on how I lost weight so easily-which is really offensive since I had to work my butt off for a year!Do I just ignore his comments? Should I be incredible frank?I've dealt with this for 15+ years and I'm sick of it.

Answer Question
 
Sara.Robyson

Asked by Sara.Robyson at 7:01 PM on Jul. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,854 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • be incredibly frank! apparently the support isnt working, so tell him like it is. he is lazy and eats too much!
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 7:03 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I would be totally frank being anything else would be damaging to this kind of friend.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:04 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Tell him the truth. He is the only one who can change.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:05 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I agree with the posters before me. You have to be the one to tell him the truth. He obviously does not see it himself.
    sprout.martin

    Answer by sprout.martin at 7:07 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Well maybe he needs a boost in other ways. It was hard for me to lose weight too. I admit, but of it was motivation. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you don't feel like it's worth the effort because you are stuck in the same spot no matter what you do. Maybe he can't do it by conventional means. I chose to have weight loss surgery and it was the best decision I ever made. For someone that large, sometimes that is the best way to go. If he can get his body weight at a level that's easier to maintain then it's easier to exercise.

    I'm not saying that it's the ONLY thing he can do, but it is an option you can present to him.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 7:08 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Remind me to proofread myself before I submit, LOL. I meant "part of it was motivation."
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 7:09 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • First of all, you are a good friend. Lots of others would have said "hit the road, jack".....and 15 years! Wow. He is in denial and can not find it within himself to change. He has a deep seeded reason that he eats the way he does. Kudos to you for losing weight. I think you can tell him nicely (again) that it takes work, you did the work, and it still is work to keep the weight off. You can offer to help him with portion control, suggest a good book on the subject, even offer to work out with him (if you are willing......don't offer it if you aren't really willing) . I think that's all you can do. I think after that you can keep offering to help IF you are truly willing, but tell him he has to decide to help himself. Be proud of yourself and if all of this brings you down too much then you may have to decide to see less of him.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:13 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Tell him he needs to change or he'll die and volunteer to really stand behind him. Don't just tell him he can do it then walk away. Help him find a plan that he can stick to. If he's able to walk then get out and walk with him. Share recipes. When he goes to order an XL pizza suggest he get a smaller one and maybe a salad if that's not enough. He can also get veggie toppings instead of meat and get it with lighter cheese. Find ways to modify his favorite recipes. If he's eating a large serving of cake then making it with apple sauce instead of oil will cut a lot of calories.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 8:03 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • Well, it's all about choices ... and I'd point this out very plainly and clearly. And then let it be. It's his choice, no one else's.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 8:26 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

  • I'd be honest with him. He's killing himself slowly and ignoring the problem is doing him no favors.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 9:13 PM on Jul. 12, 2010

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